On The Road to the Iron Sheik Roast: Part 1

In October of last year, Jimmy James and myself packed up the 1998 Isuzu Rodeo and headed to lovely Monroe, New Jersey. Little did we know what was in store for us.

The drive down there was going as smooth as a baby’s bottom…not that I know what that feels like, but you get the analogy, so lets move on to more important matters. While driving through I believe Connecticut, a driver became very unhappy with me. He got directly in front of me and would not let me pass him. I slowed down to 40 miles per hour on the highway; he slowed down to the same speed. I tried to hit the gas and pass him, but this son of a bitch veers into the next lane and almost smacks into me.

I believe it’s at this point that he begins flipping us off. No wait, that was when Jimm grabbed the camera and started filming the idiot. A public service announcement stating to steer clear of this pool stick sucking son of a gun was in short order. Truth be told, I was getting nervous. This hunk of fecal matter was scaring the bejesus out of me, so I came up with a plan. At the next exit, I would put my blinker on and act like I was getting off, then at the last minute, I would get back onto the highway. I figured the moron would bite on the bait and take the exit. He wanted fisticuffs and by god I was gonna make him think he was getting em’! Long story short (too late) he bought, although he did flip us off until he faded off into the sunset…

JJ: Let me tell you driving through Connecticut man that was fucked up. This dude almost side swipes us and shit, but me and Bill go back to talking and then we notice the guy who almost side swiped us is going like 30 in the fast lane but every time we try to pass him he keeps drifting in front of us. Realizing the guy is some sort of asshole, I decide to film the experience. As soon as the dude sees the camera he starts flipping us off while continuing to impede our driving. Bill used some tricky driving and got the guy to go off the exit. I am mad at myself cuz I got caught up in flipping this dude off that the filming went to shits. It was an interesting way to start off the trip.

Now back to important matters. Jimmy James and I were headed to the Roast of the Iron Sheik. The evening was put together largely in part by the fine folks at Kayfabe Commentaries for a dvd release. To make matters all the better, a huge autograph signing was taking place the next day so legions of wrestlers were in town for the festivities.

JJ: One of my favorite things about going to the New Jersey/Philadelphia area is the Yuenglang and Yuenglang Light beer. Some people told me it was piss water but they can fuck off!

Imagine walking around and saying hello to Glacier. Then you see Bill Apter and he says hi to you, well because he thinks you are going to say hello to him even though you are not. Add in meeting several other wrestlers, and that is what Jimmy James experienced. Whenever I harkened out of the hotel room, I didn’t see anybody. But J.J. is a tad more adventurous than I; to the victor go the spoils.

JJ: The Billdozer is in fact a dozer. The dude sleeps late and likes to take naps. While he was still asleep I went and had a swim in the pool and walked around. I bumped into Sean Oliver on his way to film In the Office w/ Rene Goulet. After we got back from a lovely meal at Joe’s Crab shack the dozer dozed off and went down to the lobby to have a smoke and scope out the situation. I rode the elevator down with Glacier and we exchange pleasantries. From there I bumped into Don Muroco, Bill Apter, Brain Blair, and Jim Powers. As I walked through the lobby I heard a bunch of guys go, “Hey that’s the You Shoot guy!” I hope Bill’s beauty rest was worth it.

(Bill post edit: It wasn’t.)
End of part 1

What's crackin? The Release of Scotty Goldman...

From the desk of Jimmy James:

What’s crackin’ in WWE these days? In the past 6 months WWE has brought up many young performers from the FCW developmental territory to try to infuse the rosters with some young talent. Some of them have caught on like Jack Swagger, who quickly won the ECW title but most seem to do jobs and then are released with out much fanfare. This leads me to the news I read last night that Scotty Goldman was released by World Wrestling Entertainment. Just like everyone else on the chopping block they wish him the best in his future endeavors. This release puzzles me and unless it is strictly financial manner, this is one of the dumbest moves WWE has down in recent memory. Scotty Goldman, or Colt Cabana as he is more widely known is one of the most entertaining workers out there today. When he signed on with WWE about 2 years ago I was very excited because I knew the sky was the limit for this kid. It also helped that he is good friends with CM Punk who Vince took a liking to. As Punk’s stock was rising it seemed like it was inevitable that Colt would be brought up to the main roster.

In Ring of Honor Colt Cabana was one of the top guys. He cut great promos, he also was a great wrestler, but most of all I thought his entrance was the best part of the package. He would come out to “Copa Cabana” and he would dance around and the crowd (which was made up of men in their 20’s) would dance around and sing along with him. I remember after he got signed by WWE on of my friends who would go to ROH shows with me said, “That is awesome that Colt Cabana signed with WWE. Man I love his entrance! I can’t wait to see that in WWE, It’s gonna be crazy!” I agreed and it was obvious to me as a mark that Colt had whatever it was to pop a crowd. I mean his entrance got the crowd going and Colt had that charisma that is needed to take you to the next level. The only problem was that he did not fit the jacked up muscle men that Johnny Ace and Vince McMahon like to bring into the company. The thing is he didn’t have to look like that, because he could identify with the crowd and he has the charisma and psychology that makes a wrestler worth watching. There are too many guys out there that spend too much time worrying about the size of their arms and less time on the basics of working a crowd.

It seemed Colt’s WWE career was dead from the start, they gave him some entertaining promos but they gave him the very vanilla name “Scotty Goldman” and after few weeks of doing jobs he was off TV. I have a problem with the name change but I am not sure if it was a case that Colt wanted to keep the rights to his name or WWE just wanted a different one. They have a tendency to take guys who have really cool names on the indies and in FCW and give them very bland names. He was not used for a while and it seemed as though his release was imminent. About a month ago he was given a show on WWE.com entitled “What’s Crackin’ w/ Scotty Goldman.” He was also working in FCW as a color commentator. His show was a pretty entertaining weekly wrap up show going over the big events in WWE that week. The first episode even had WWE.com’s Joey Styles has a guest! It seemed that with the show and the commentary work there was going to be an opportunity for Scotty Goldman to show his talents to the WWE universe. Unfortunately for the 6th episode of his web show the name was changed from “What’s Crackin’ to “ Good As Goldman” and a few days later he was released after getting squashed by Umaga on Smackdown. I think WWE dropped the ball by releasing Colt Cab ana, but there are many doors open to him. With ROH going to television, Colt Cabana in would be a great fit. They would be bringing in a great worker fresh of WWE TV and he is a guy that the ROH audience loves and his return would play out great on television. I wish all the luck in the world to Colt Cabana and cannot wait to see him wrestles with out the shackles of World Wrestling Entertainment. I think Colt said it best in his latest blog, “Goodbye Scotty Goldman….Hello Colt Cabana!"

Until next time....J.J.

Inaugural Off The Mark Blog!!!

(This inaugural blog for the Off The Mark Show comes to you from The Billdozer and discusses our show, which can be found at: http://www.myspace.com/offthemarkshow)

In a week of firsts, I would like to thank you for checking out my blog under the Off The Mark umbrella!

After watching my first episode, I am quite pleased at how it turned out. Jimmy James made the experience great with his wholesome attitude and ginger snap treats (well I wish). I will do my absolute best to make sure I do not say “absolutely” 42 times again, but I ensure an awkward argument with J.J. in the not to distant future to make up for it. I also can’t wait to get the Hess Express involved because he IS the strange breed that makes me giggle.

Random thoughts:

I’m loving How I Met Your Mother…almost caught up. Between just finishing Arrested Development (how did this show get cancelled?) and falling head over heels (had to use that one) with this new program, my TV watching is finally filling up with pleasurable activities on this side of Skin-amax.

Fans, we need a poll….Jimmy James is going to get a haircut…or should he??? I have two words: platinum blonde.

And as a teaser, let me be the first to suggest Jimmy James and The Billdozer in a future episode with, drum roll not needed, sports coats with no shirts underneath!!! Let the homoeroticism sink in!!!

That’s all folks, I probably won’t see ya’ at the matches. But c’mon Hogan, I want to see ya’ at ‘Mania even if its against Cena!!!!
-Dozer