(Editor's note: The Billdozah was unhappy with his first Smackdown blog and took a few weeks to let the Smackdown blog come to him. Enjoy. In coming weeks we will hear his thoughts on TNA, ROH, and what else the world of wrestling has to offer!)
Smackdown: Trouble in Paradise
By: The Billdozah
Yesterday,
Love was such an easy game to play,
Now I need a place to hide away,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Why she Had to go I don't know, she wouldn't say.
I said,
Something wrong, now I long for yesterday.
-The Beatles
Let’s take one step back, for a moment. A few months back Smackdown had Edge, Rey Mysterio, and Jeff Hardy running wild. Hardy was at his rightful spot as the top face on the best show WWE had to offer. Mysterio had a fantastic, fantastic feud and series of matchups with Chris Jericho; they turned back the clock to their WCW days and then raised the bar. Between that and the Shawn Michaels feud it was some of Jericho’s best work ever…and I mean (slaps face!) ehhh ehhhhhhhh ehhhhhhh EVVVVVEEERRRRR!!!
From there Mysterio was helping elevate Dolph Ziggler via an intriguing Intercontinental Title feud that looked far from over. When Dolph first came it, we all know the gig, “My Name is Dolph…” yah until you are wished well in your future endeavors. I gladly sit here with foot inserted in mouth. Dolph has surprised us all. He deserves a lot of credit, but I think Rey does too.
Edge was a little complacent as the face of Smackdown, the reigning champion, the top heel, a long running feud with Jeff Hardy; Michael Hayes must have taken notice, so he teamed him up with Mr. Compelling Chris Jericho and they put the forgotten Undisputed Tag Team Titles on them. Perhaps those belts could get some rub with these two perfectionists holding them; even better, the seeds were planted with an epic feud.
Jeff Hardy sat on top of the literal and proverbial ladder after he defeated Edge in the Ladder Match for the World Heavyweight Championship. CM Punk (and WWE management) had something else to say about Hardy’s rise to the top. They helped cement him even further as the most sympathetic babyface on the roster. Jeff always came that close to achieving his goals, and then he finally got there (again) only to see the Straight Edge Superstar take his title and create a compelling storyline.
Take note WWE. For years, WWE fans supported Jeff Hardy even though he was nowhere close to main events. Sure he stopped at Dunkin Donuts here for a cup of Joe when needed, but he wasn’t put at the top until recently. And WWE fans loved him all the more for it. Then you have the John Cena conundrum. Listen, Cena is stale as all getout and WWE probably A) has no idea he is running in circles or B) no clue how they got there. There’s always option C) they’re making money so who gives an STFU.
John Cena hasn’t been to the WWE nearly as long as Jeff Hardy. It’s my opinion he isn’t as popular as Jeff is (or wouldn’t be if J. Hardy had been given the same run on top).
Let’s take a second step back for another moment (this one moves us a little bit away from Smackdown, but it’s all relative to WWE).
WrestleMania 21
John Cena defeats JBL for the WWE Championship.
On that show, Batista main evented and defeated Triple H for the World Heavyweight Championship. He was on the main show and was a bigger draw than Cena. If he wasn’t more important to Vince McMahon why did Batista eliminate Cena to win the Royal Rumble that year?
We then saw the sails taken out of Batista (and to be frank there probably weren’t much legs left in the soon to be senior citizen). The Batista Bomb dropped on Smackdown and the John Cena era on Monday Night Raw began. Since that time we have had nonstop John Cena title matches every week on Raw and every month on Pay Per View. His detractors could take solace in the fact that he suffered several major injuries that knocked him out of action for several months and offered the freshness that only Triple H could offer.
Sure we all enjoyed his blood feud with JBL. Yeah we hoped he would find a way to make the Big Show submit. And oh yeah, it was great to see him have a Buried Alive feud with the Miz. What’s that? Miz was getting over?
Rest in Peace, Mike Mizanin. Not your fault.
Jeesh, I almost fell asleep reminiscing the good old days where John Cena wasn’t fighting for a world title…ugh JBL sucks.
Ok time to take two steps forward.
NEWSFLASH!
Jeff Hardy was called the next Shawn Michaels while John Cena was probably only over with a few gentlemen who saw him in bodybuilding competition. Hey Vince McMahon, stop licking your lips. What are you planning a WBF revival world tour? (Disclaimer: I think the WBF was essentially brought back when the Raw main events consisted of Cena, Trips, and Batista).
Know how long Jeff Hardy has been over with the wrestling fans? He was popular back when WWE used to be good. My friends, that was a long, long time ago. A long time ago. Sure he’s had his issues with substances and disinterest in working the WWE schedule. Guess what? More guys have as well. They just weren’t as smart as Jeff to take that step away and recuperate.
So WWE made the decision to go with a guy like John Cena at the top for all those years. Jeff Hardy came and Jeff Hardy left. And as I mentioned, the cheers only grew. If WWE would realize that fans would cheer Cena regardless of his positioning, they would probably be able to book him in a program that had some teeth to it and nothing to do with the main event. But I think they probably know that a large majority won’t care and many will actually be happy to have the guy moved down a peg. They know most people don’t care, so if they put him in the precarious position out of the spotlight, any interest he has will evaporate like a main event push for Rob Van Dam.
Here’s my last thought on Cena before I get back to Smackdown. He got pushed too hard too quickly and then WWE had no clue what to do with him. If they did how come he has had decade feeling feuds with JBL, Triple H, Randy Orton, Big Show, and Edge. Wow, can’t wait for another encounter with Batista, either. It’s too late. He’s at the top of the card and he isn’t going anywhere.
I’m just thinking that if WWE placed Jeff Hardy and Rob Van Dam (yah that cloud of smoke is here for a reason) in their rightful places at the top at say around WrestleMania 21, everyone wouldn’t be so sick of John Cena. And John, I’m just using you as an example. I don’t want to spend 12 years writing about how Triple H only remained at the top because both the Rock and Austin essentially bailed at the same time.
So it’s 2009 and we have a guy who I think is going to be the best heel in wrestling in CM Punk. I always dreamed of a feud with Stone Cold Steve Austin where he put down Austin for the beer drinking and cried about the love the fans had for the Texas Rattlesnake. Jeff Hardy subbing for Stone Cold? I’m cool. It was hip and fresh and served the same purpose.
It worked perfectly. Punk had an amazing several weeks playing the guy who is doing something he believes to be right and having valid reasons. Thus, when he turned heel, there was no need to look back. Just give a bad guy conviction in his voice and wait for the magic to ensue.
Even better, Jeff got chase the title. He got to go after a guy who couldn’t be more different than him. They walk, talk, and act different. The story was written for Jeff Hardy as the babyface. But besides some cheap shots, Punk is they guy the kids should look up to. That’s why this feud sold. Even Punk detractors know he’s probably right. They just want to puff the magic dragon or get drunk at a local bar. I’ll be doing the latter in mere moments, myself. But I still love the Punker. He’s in his prime, he is fresh, and WWE is lucky enough to have him to give some mileage to the guys over on Raw like Orton, Cena, Triple H, etc. etc. once he gets to dance with them and they can get out of each other’s own way. Change is good. Let’s hope it happens quicker than it took for Jeff Hardy to get his Word Title Reign.
But Smackdown is in peril. Edge is injured. Mysterio got suspended. Jeff Hardy walked away (and BREAKING News, he would have had Strike 3 via the Wellness policy anyways). Jericho’s momentum has been put on hold for about as long as his team with the Big Show continues. A Smackdown roster once rich in talent and potential sits in peril.
Well, what do we think about that? I’ll tell ya’.
To Be Continued…
Friday, September 11, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Smackdown: Where Heels are Heels and Faces Don't...
(In Part 3 of 6 The Billdozah takes a stream of consciousness gander at Friday Night Smackdown. The purpose of these blogs is to find out what, if anything, each television program is doing correctly and more importantly gives said Billdozah the opportunity to vent, because he has a lot of venting to do. Coming soon we will read his thoughts on TNA Impact, ROH TV, and a hope for more alternatives)
On Friday nights I am at my local bar establishment, taking a look into another empty glass of the Special Brew, not giving a care in the world towards missing WWE’s Smackdown program. You see, Fridays are not a great day for pro wrestling in my mind. But, there is a but…
Smackdown, girl, I may have missed you on Friday, but don’t worry baby, we’ll get together soon. Basically you’re my bitch. Hey, it’s not my fault I pretend to have a social life. Still going to get to that but, don’t worry your pretty little head wrestling fan.
Think about it. I’m not wasting my time on Friday nights watching wrestling. But watching Smackdown and wasting time are not mutually exclusive as in years past; not since Trips went back to Monday Nights anyways.
Modern technology allows one to watch a program like Smackdown any day or time that I choose. Much like ECW in recent years, this has allowed me to fast forward the diva matches and generally anything that looks or smells like Kane. I still skip a little bit, but that’s an exception to the rule now.
Ah Smackdown, where heels are heels and faces don’t try to deliver unfunny jokes that are really lame anyways (ahem, Monday Night Raw for the past 7 years).
Jeff Hardy. CM Punk. Edge*. John Morrison. Chris Jericho. Rey Mysterio. Those above names have carried Smackdown since the draft with a myriad of epic contests. Mysterio and Jericho were on fire for a long time. Edge Asterisk has been one of if not the most consistent performer in WWE for at least 3 years. Asterisk included because he’s on the shelf and I was really hopeful of the team of him and Jericho. And just when you thought he was getting a little stale, absence makes the fan forget that. And a face run against Jericho will be just what Dr. Pepper ordered.
Whoops, I might have to argue with myself a little bit for a moment. Jericho as a heel is fantastic. Perhaps, he’s more consistent than Edge. The former Y2J took away all the catch phrases and now berates the fans to the point where they can’t cheer him. It’s a hard thing to do these days and a performer has to be almost perfect in execution to pull it off. But I want to go back to the core of what makes Smackdown an almost weekly can’t miss program.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages…World Wrestling Entertainment proudly brings to you the closest thing they can come to having an actually current wrestling product.
What’s current about Smackdown? Jeff Hardy. The unfortunate thing is it took WWE way to long to capitalize on his unique personality and marketability at the top of the card. Now he’ll be gone soon. That story sound familiar? I’ll give you three letters. RVD.
But let’s not take away from the past several months where Jeff has been placed in main events betweens feuds with Punk and Edge. It’s a shame he is leaving, but it probably opens the door for his brother to get a chance to finally prove if he can make it as a top of the card draw. Color me skeptical on how that experiment will go, but we will see.
CM Punk is a heel. He always has been and always will be. Punk in ROH was exactly what that company needed. Someone who can have hate in his eyes and be different than you and me. The Straight Edge character is what Punk kept in his back pocket during his entire WWE run. He’s a good face, but he’s a dude that people will hate. Not love to hate, but people will hate him. The best part about his turn was the month with shades of gray between being a heel and face because all of his comments were the truth. In his mind, why would someone cheer for a screw up like Jeff Hardy over him? What did he ever do to us?
Give a heel conviction in his voice and the rest is cake dude. TITTB..no not what you’re thinking, take it to the bank. Much like his Money in the Bank victories.
Billdozah liked what Billdozah saw here. And I’m hearing of an Undertaker/Punk feud. Intriguing, and that’s coming from someone who isn’t so high on the Dead Man all the time. A blog for another day, I assure you.
We have seen the upward progression of two characters on the food chain as well. John Morrison is now a face; I don’t like the overall package (tights need to change and his promos are pretty eh), but he’s better in the ring building to his highspots, and we have great matches to look forward to for years with the young heartthrob (so say the ladies, I don’t look at guys like that).
One guy who I would have figured never would have made it is Dolph Ziggler. The dude is the only man left standing from the Spirit Squad manure drop from the sky on Raw. At least Vinny Mac loved it. But Ziggy (Dolph you don’t mind if I call you Ziggy do you? Ok thanks!) is another young guy with a world of potential. You have to figure he’s going to be Intercontinental Champion sooner rather than later. In the immortal word of Jeremy Piven, Summerfest might be that day. From there he doesn’t have to run into Cena or Triple H to take him down a peg and to ensure he never gets over.
Smackdown is close to what professional wrestling should look like in 2009. Their best heel (Chris Jericho) brings out the best in whoever he’s feuding with. Did anyone see his match with JTG a few weeks back? Case in point.
As a fan I root for the stars of tomorrow because you usually can see it quite obviously. I have that in the Hart Dynasty. Tyson Kidd is developing better than I imagined. David Hart is assuredly going to get more breaks in WWE, but Kidd feuding with Rey Mysterio is going to steal some shows, mark my words.
I joked earlier about Smackdown being my bitch. If it were on Mondays I would watch it live every week. That’s what I wish we were seeing, but it isn’t the case. At the end of the day I am Smackdown’s bitch. Because she’s giving me what I want. Umm, yeah that’s today’s stars in main event slots. They are fresh, athletic, and are different from each other. Well, and then there’s Kane and the Great Khali to fast forward through. Oh yean and I still hate the Diva matches. Don’t worry ladies, the Hess Express is still watching and salivating over your, um lets call them hip tosses and arm drags. Works of art.
Michael Hayes, I like what you’re cookin’ these days…keep up the good work.
-The Billdozah
On Friday nights I am at my local bar establishment, taking a look into another empty glass of the Special Brew, not giving a care in the world towards missing WWE’s Smackdown program. You see, Fridays are not a great day for pro wrestling in my mind. But, there is a but…
Smackdown, girl, I may have missed you on Friday, but don’t worry baby, we’ll get together soon. Basically you’re my bitch. Hey, it’s not my fault I pretend to have a social life. Still going to get to that but, don’t worry your pretty little head wrestling fan.
Think about it. I’m not wasting my time on Friday nights watching wrestling. But watching Smackdown and wasting time are not mutually exclusive as in years past; not since Trips went back to Monday Nights anyways.
Modern technology allows one to watch a program like Smackdown any day or time that I choose. Much like ECW in recent years, this has allowed me to fast forward the diva matches and generally anything that looks or smells like Kane. I still skip a little bit, but that’s an exception to the rule now.
Ah Smackdown, where heels are heels and faces don’t try to deliver unfunny jokes that are really lame anyways (ahem, Monday Night Raw for the past 7 years).
Jeff Hardy. CM Punk. Edge*. John Morrison. Chris Jericho. Rey Mysterio. Those above names have carried Smackdown since the draft with a myriad of epic contests. Mysterio and Jericho were on fire for a long time. Edge Asterisk has been one of if not the most consistent performer in WWE for at least 3 years. Asterisk included because he’s on the shelf and I was really hopeful of the team of him and Jericho. And just when you thought he was getting a little stale, absence makes the fan forget that. And a face run against Jericho will be just what Dr. Pepper ordered.
Whoops, I might have to argue with myself a little bit for a moment. Jericho as a heel is fantastic. Perhaps, he’s more consistent than Edge. The former Y2J took away all the catch phrases and now berates the fans to the point where they can’t cheer him. It’s a hard thing to do these days and a performer has to be almost perfect in execution to pull it off. But I want to go back to the core of what makes Smackdown an almost weekly can’t miss program.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages…World Wrestling Entertainment proudly brings to you the closest thing they can come to having an actually current wrestling product.
What’s current about Smackdown? Jeff Hardy. The unfortunate thing is it took WWE way to long to capitalize on his unique personality and marketability at the top of the card. Now he’ll be gone soon. That story sound familiar? I’ll give you three letters. RVD.
But let’s not take away from the past several months where Jeff has been placed in main events betweens feuds with Punk and Edge. It’s a shame he is leaving, but it probably opens the door for his brother to get a chance to finally prove if he can make it as a top of the card draw. Color me skeptical on how that experiment will go, but we will see.
CM Punk is a heel. He always has been and always will be. Punk in ROH was exactly what that company needed. Someone who can have hate in his eyes and be different than you and me. The Straight Edge character is what Punk kept in his back pocket during his entire WWE run. He’s a good face, but he’s a dude that people will hate. Not love to hate, but people will hate him. The best part about his turn was the month with shades of gray between being a heel and face because all of his comments were the truth. In his mind, why would someone cheer for a screw up like Jeff Hardy over him? What did he ever do to us?
Give a heel conviction in his voice and the rest is cake dude. TITTB..no not what you’re thinking, take it to the bank. Much like his Money in the Bank victories.
Billdozah liked what Billdozah saw here. And I’m hearing of an Undertaker/Punk feud. Intriguing, and that’s coming from someone who isn’t so high on the Dead Man all the time. A blog for another day, I assure you.
We have seen the upward progression of two characters on the food chain as well. John Morrison is now a face; I don’t like the overall package (tights need to change and his promos are pretty eh), but he’s better in the ring building to his highspots, and we have great matches to look forward to for years with the young heartthrob (so say the ladies, I don’t look at guys like that).
One guy who I would have figured never would have made it is Dolph Ziggler. The dude is the only man left standing from the Spirit Squad manure drop from the sky on Raw. At least Vinny Mac loved it. But Ziggy (Dolph you don’t mind if I call you Ziggy do you? Ok thanks!) is another young guy with a world of potential. You have to figure he’s going to be Intercontinental Champion sooner rather than later. In the immortal word of Jeremy Piven, Summerfest might be that day. From there he doesn’t have to run into Cena or Triple H to take him down a peg and to ensure he never gets over.
Smackdown is close to what professional wrestling should look like in 2009. Their best heel (Chris Jericho) brings out the best in whoever he’s feuding with. Did anyone see his match with JTG a few weeks back? Case in point.
As a fan I root for the stars of tomorrow because you usually can see it quite obviously. I have that in the Hart Dynasty. Tyson Kidd is developing better than I imagined. David Hart is assuredly going to get more breaks in WWE, but Kidd feuding with Rey Mysterio is going to steal some shows, mark my words.
I joked earlier about Smackdown being my bitch. If it were on Mondays I would watch it live every week. That’s what I wish we were seeing, but it isn’t the case. At the end of the day I am Smackdown’s bitch. Because she’s giving me what I want. Umm, yeah that’s today’s stars in main event slots. They are fresh, athletic, and are different from each other. Well, and then there’s Kane and the Great Khali to fast forward through. Oh yean and I still hate the Diva matches. Don’t worry ladies, the Hess Express is still watching and salivating over your, um lets call them hip tosses and arm drags. Works of art.
Michael Hayes, I like what you’re cookin’ these days…keep up the good work.
-The Billdozah
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
ECW: What's Old Is New Again
(In Part 2 of 6 The Billdozah takes a stream of consciousness tour down under into the land of extreme, ECW. The purpose of these blogs is to find out what, if anything, each television program is doing correctly and more importantly gives said Billdozah the opportunity to vent, because he has a lot of venting to do. Coming soon we will read his thoughts on Smackdown, TNA Impact, ROH TV, and a hope for more alternatives)
In the spirit of last week’s critically acclaimed Raw blog, lets kick it off with a poor attempt at changing the lyrics to a famous song.
ECW is a friend,
Yeah, I know it’s been
A good friend of mine
But lately something's changed
That ain't hard to define
The ECW that made me want to hurl
Is turning around just fine
And I’m watching it with those eyes
Just lovin Tiffany with that body,
I just know it
Yeah 'n' I’m holding her
In my dreams late,
Late at night
But, you know, I still wish that I had Paul E’s girl…
Radio Edit!
(Special Rewind Stream of Consciousness from 2006 through most of 2008) Where is Paul Heyman and what did you do with my beloved wrestling company Vincent Kennedy McMahon?!?!
Ok, ok, ok…back to 2K9. Paul Heyman has walked out that door and he ain’t coming back (at least anytime soon). If you watch ECW with a longing for yesteryear, you are better off purchasing the Rise and Fall of ECW DVD. That company is dead and it isn’t coming back.
There were times where I hated to watch ECW. The company that pushed WWE into the Attitude era (believe it) and turned the fate of wrestling around, has died an ugly death. To make matters worse, they brought the company back giving fans delusions of grandeur. The old ECW died in a puff of Rob Van Dam smoke on that fateful July evening in 2006. We didn’t know it yet, but the coffin was already made, we were just waiting for those three letters to lie in it.
What happened from there was the proverbial kick to the genitals. Bobby Lashley was not the man to bring ECW to the next level. ECW fans could eloquently channel Dusty Rhodes in saying, “That’s not for you, daddy!” Vince McMahon as champion? Obviously someone didn’t want us cheering a certain three letters. Oh yeah, we got to see CM Punk and John Morrison in a decent feud; but we also got to see some runs with Chavo Guerrero and Mark Henry at the top of the cards.
But wait, what’s that I heard last week?
(Cue crowd noise…)
“ECW!”
“ECW!”
“ECW!”
Christian and Tommy Dreamer had a wild brawl in “Turn Back the Clock Night” on ECW TV! It was cool and innovative. These Extreme Rules matches under the current context of the product allow for a good feud between two veterans to move to the next level. The Hot Dog Stand, the car door, countless garbage can shots to head…I had visions of Dances With Dudley in Sugar Ray Candy Trees bouncing in my head!!!
If you think one Extreme Rules match changed my opinion on ECW, think again. The tide was actually turned some time back. For me, a rebirth began when Teddy Long brought his new superstar initiative to ECW. The first class all passed with aces; Jack Swagger is frigging unbelievable at such a young age. He might be two-time two-time friggin’ unbelievable if you ask me. And I love Evan Bourne. Obviously, size is the detriment to many individuals when they enter World Wrestling Entertainment. Ask Taz(z), Paul London, Dean Malenko, etc. etc. But for every guy who doesn’t reach the brass ring, we get an Eddie Guerrero who slips through the cracks. Is Evan Bourne one of those guys? You better believe it; it’s too bad he isn’t tearing it up on Smackdown. I am salivating at the idea of Jericho/Bourne, Mysterio/Bourne, more Kidd/Bourne, Punk/Bourne, to name a mere few.
One problem I had was the suddenness that those men left ECW. I think the Hart Dynasty could have used some more time to mix it up with the new class. They are primed and ready and hopefully don’t get lost in the shuffle on Smackdown. It would have been good to see them against the likes of Shaeumus and Yoshi Tatsu (to specifically name two guys who I think will do alright). Tyler Rex? Surf’s down for me so far dude. Abraham Washington? I’m open to the project, but no more Bella Twins in this segment please.
Hell I never thought I would cheer “Woo! Woo! Woo!” and actually get behind Long Island’s own Zack Ryder, but it works. YOU KNOW IT!
I even want to see where this Vladimir Koslov and Ezekiel Jackson game of one- upsmanship is headed. I refuse to hope for Guerrero vs. Malenko every time two guys get in the ring. It’s not healthy guys. Big guys get over in the WWE structure; I like athleticism and flips in my wrestling and I’ll gladly admit it. But it is too bad we don’t see the current incarnation of the big fat wrestler who will beat the hell out of you. We need today’s versions of Bam Bam Bigelow and Big Van Vader. Sidebar, sidebar, out of order, I apologize.
Getting to see Tommy Dreamer win the title was a really cool moment that makes me think Vince McMahon may have realized that when those old school ECW fans pay for his shows, he actually gets the money from it.
Before I end this long-winded rant (hold your sarcasm that we’re several lines too late), I want to talk about the ECW Champion Christian. When he went to TNA, I thought WWE really missed the boat and TNA was going finally get a guy in his prime and push him to his limits. Something was amiss and it’s too bad they bounced old Double J several months too late. I think Jeff Jarrett as the be all end all of TNA had a pretty big deal why Christian and other guys just never clicked to the level that was expected.
Since he returned to ECW, he looks in better shape and has added a lot of flash to his already polished in ring product. A guy like him on Raw as WWE Champion would make us find out if Randy Orton can truly have that good match which isn’t there for him with the Cena’s, Batista’s and Triple H’s of the WWE Universe…For more on that, last weeks blog explains everything.
Christian is where it’s at. He knows this is probably his last chance to truly make the mark in World Wrestling Entertainment that he deserves to. He’s had great feuds with Jack Swagger and Tommy Dreamer. He is a fresh and exciting champion that makes me want to watch his matches. If his legend ends with these ECW title reigns and the stars he helped create (Swagger) or rejuvenate (Dreamer), I’ll happily watch it while it lasts. I just don’t want to look back when he retires and put him in the “What Should Have Been” pile of stars Vince didn’t let scratch the surface of their true potential.
Full Disclaimer: I wish Paul Heyman was booking ECW until it’s final breath. It’s just not going to happen. So take away your lofty expectations (it’s taken me some serious time and a lot of DVR fast forwarding to do it myself, but YOU WILL GET THERE, well I hope) and try to enjoy a decent wrestling product. Hey, it could be worse. I think I talked about it last week. That’s Right Monday Night Raw, I’m lookin’at you!
I have one last thing to say…
“ECW!”
“ECW!”
“ECW!”
-The Billdozah
In the spirit of last week’s critically acclaimed Raw blog, lets kick it off with a poor attempt at changing the lyrics to a famous song.
ECW is a friend,
Yeah, I know it’s been
A good friend of mine
But lately something's changed
That ain't hard to define
The ECW that made me want to hurl
Is turning around just fine
And I’m watching it with those eyes
Just lovin Tiffany with that body,
I just know it
Yeah 'n' I’m holding her
In my dreams late,
Late at night
But, you know, I still wish that I had Paul E’s girl…
Radio Edit!
(Special Rewind Stream of Consciousness from 2006 through most of 2008) Where is Paul Heyman and what did you do with my beloved wrestling company Vincent Kennedy McMahon?!?!
Ok, ok, ok…back to 2K9. Paul Heyman has walked out that door and he ain’t coming back (at least anytime soon). If you watch ECW with a longing for yesteryear, you are better off purchasing the Rise and Fall of ECW DVD. That company is dead and it isn’t coming back.
There were times where I hated to watch ECW. The company that pushed WWE into the Attitude era (believe it) and turned the fate of wrestling around, has died an ugly death. To make matters worse, they brought the company back giving fans delusions of grandeur. The old ECW died in a puff of Rob Van Dam smoke on that fateful July evening in 2006. We didn’t know it yet, but the coffin was already made, we were just waiting for those three letters to lie in it.
What happened from there was the proverbial kick to the genitals. Bobby Lashley was not the man to bring ECW to the next level. ECW fans could eloquently channel Dusty Rhodes in saying, “That’s not for you, daddy!” Vince McMahon as champion? Obviously someone didn’t want us cheering a certain three letters. Oh yeah, we got to see CM Punk and John Morrison in a decent feud; but we also got to see some runs with Chavo Guerrero and Mark Henry at the top of the cards.
But wait, what’s that I heard last week?
(Cue crowd noise…)
“ECW!”
“ECW!”
“ECW!”
Christian and Tommy Dreamer had a wild brawl in “Turn Back the Clock Night” on ECW TV! It was cool and innovative. These Extreme Rules matches under the current context of the product allow for a good feud between two veterans to move to the next level. The Hot Dog Stand, the car door, countless garbage can shots to head…I had visions of Dances With Dudley in Sugar Ray Candy Trees bouncing in my head!!!
If you think one Extreme Rules match changed my opinion on ECW, think again. The tide was actually turned some time back. For me, a rebirth began when Teddy Long brought his new superstar initiative to ECW. The first class all passed with aces; Jack Swagger is frigging unbelievable at such a young age. He might be two-time two-time friggin’ unbelievable if you ask me. And I love Evan Bourne. Obviously, size is the detriment to many individuals when they enter World Wrestling Entertainment. Ask Taz(z), Paul London, Dean Malenko, etc. etc. But for every guy who doesn’t reach the brass ring, we get an Eddie Guerrero who slips through the cracks. Is Evan Bourne one of those guys? You better believe it; it’s too bad he isn’t tearing it up on Smackdown. I am salivating at the idea of Jericho/Bourne, Mysterio/Bourne, more Kidd/Bourne, Punk/Bourne, to name a mere few.
One problem I had was the suddenness that those men left ECW. I think the Hart Dynasty could have used some more time to mix it up with the new class. They are primed and ready and hopefully don’t get lost in the shuffle on Smackdown. It would have been good to see them against the likes of Shaeumus and Yoshi Tatsu (to specifically name two guys who I think will do alright). Tyler Rex? Surf’s down for me so far dude. Abraham Washington? I’m open to the project, but no more Bella Twins in this segment please.
Hell I never thought I would cheer “Woo! Woo! Woo!” and actually get behind Long Island’s own Zack Ryder, but it works. YOU KNOW IT!
I even want to see where this Vladimir Koslov and Ezekiel Jackson game of one- upsmanship is headed. I refuse to hope for Guerrero vs. Malenko every time two guys get in the ring. It’s not healthy guys. Big guys get over in the WWE structure; I like athleticism and flips in my wrestling and I’ll gladly admit it. But it is too bad we don’t see the current incarnation of the big fat wrestler who will beat the hell out of you. We need today’s versions of Bam Bam Bigelow and Big Van Vader. Sidebar, sidebar, out of order, I apologize.
Getting to see Tommy Dreamer win the title was a really cool moment that makes me think Vince McMahon may have realized that when those old school ECW fans pay for his shows, he actually gets the money from it.
Before I end this long-winded rant (hold your sarcasm that we’re several lines too late), I want to talk about the ECW Champion Christian. When he went to TNA, I thought WWE really missed the boat and TNA was going finally get a guy in his prime and push him to his limits. Something was amiss and it’s too bad they bounced old Double J several months too late. I think Jeff Jarrett as the be all end all of TNA had a pretty big deal why Christian and other guys just never clicked to the level that was expected.
Since he returned to ECW, he looks in better shape and has added a lot of flash to his already polished in ring product. A guy like him on Raw as WWE Champion would make us find out if Randy Orton can truly have that good match which isn’t there for him with the Cena’s, Batista’s and Triple H’s of the WWE Universe…For more on that, last weeks blog explains everything.
Christian is where it’s at. He knows this is probably his last chance to truly make the mark in World Wrestling Entertainment that he deserves to. He’s had great feuds with Jack Swagger and Tommy Dreamer. He is a fresh and exciting champion that makes me want to watch his matches. If his legend ends with these ECW title reigns and the stars he helped create (Swagger) or rejuvenate (Dreamer), I’ll happily watch it while it lasts. I just don’t want to look back when he retires and put him in the “What Should Have Been” pile of stars Vince didn’t let scratch the surface of their true potential.
Full Disclaimer: I wish Paul Heyman was booking ECW until it’s final breath. It’s just not going to happen. So take away your lofty expectations (it’s taken me some serious time and a lot of DVR fast forwarding to do it myself, but YOU WILL GET THERE, well I hope) and try to enjoy a decent wrestling product. Hey, it could be worse. I think I talked about it last week. That’s Right Monday Night Raw, I’m lookin’at you!
I have one last thing to say…
“ECW!”
“ECW!”
“ECW!”
-The Billdozah
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
What happened to Monday Night Raw?
(In Part 1 of 6 The Billdozah takes a stream of consciousness look at WWE’s flagship Monday Night Raw. The purpose of these blogs is to find out what, if anything, each television program is doing correctly and more importantly gives said Billdozah the opportunity to vent, because he has a lot of venting to do. Coming soon we will read his thoughts on ECW, Smackdown, TNA Impact, ROH TV, and a hope for more alternatives)
Where did you go Monday Night Raw? A Nation (or ugh, WWE Universe) turns its lonely eyes to you…
Instead, I believe the real wrestling fan is flipping his clicker off of your sorry sack of a 2-hour television block.
Trying to figure out where to start so we don’t get 17 Microsoft Word Pages of dribble that will be too long for anyone to read…let’s see let’s see…how about the top of the card?
Triple H. John Cena. Randy Orton. Night of Champions was a disgrace if you ask me. WWE doesn’t want to give away much of John Cena vs. Triple H, since we are dying, absolutely pleading for the rematch of their 293rd official rematch. Yawn. The main events are so played out and so boring that Batista leaving actually led to the chance that we get to see someone new get elevated.
Since Batista went down and The Donald made the big 3-brand trade that sent shockwaves up and down WWE Universe (and I hate how EVERYONE is calling it that, great branding, make a fan want to puke every time you hear something) WWE had the opportunity to give someone a huge push. MVP? Jack Swagger? Evan Bourne? Nope, nope, nope. Those would be terrible choices. But back to those three in mere moments.
Raise you hand in the air when he tells you. Somebody’s gonna get their ass kicked. That’s right wrestling nerds, your hero Mark Henry has in particular order A) Defeated champion Randy Orton on his first night on Raw B) Destroyed the most compelling character Chris Jericho C) Have the second best time in Beat the Clock, that Cena narrowly defeated and D) Got to be Hornswaggle’s cousin!
And you cheered! Why? Why? Why? He sucks, I hate him, and he sucks. But you know what WWE, you got people to get excited about Henry; it only took you 17 years. All’s well that ends well.
Speaking of ending, can we end this Guest Host fiasco? I enjoyed Ted DiBiase. Shaq delivered a big rating. But seriously, it’s ruining the programs. These comedy sketches are dragging the flow of the show and making it impossible for anyone to really shine.
Which brings me to what I find as good about Monday Night Raw. If you look at the card, they have a great flux of talent ready to make it to the next level. It could be anyone of Ted DiBiase, Cody Rhodes, MVP, Evan Bourne, Jack Swagger, Kofi Kingston, etc. But nope, we get to see two segments each week dedicated to the historic Chavo Guerrero vs. Hornswaggle Feud of the Century.
My suggestion is to clean things up at the top of the card. Mix Jack Swagger with Triple H. Have John Cena taken to his limit by MVP. When Batista comes back have Ted DiBiase bitch slap him in the face and ask him if he blew is quad. Let Randy Orton make you think Evan Bourne is gonna 123 Kid his Razor Ramon ass. I hope every week to be proven wrong, and this week I was to some extent. Trips lost a handicap match to Legacy. Stop the presses. We just need Shawn to come back so DX can rightfully put those jobbers back in their place. Once again, I hope I’m wrong. Why should I hold my breath? Oh yeah, The Miz actually got over and now he might as well wear a mask and call himself Gillberg 2. He’ll have a better chance of winning.
So Monday Night Raw, you are probably in trouble…at least according to me. The vast majority of the audience has spoken and 2010 appears to be shaping up for a Mark Henry/Hornswaggle ticket to the White House. Sadly, I’ll be watching and learning once again what I don’t want to see.
-The Billdozah
(The opinions expressed by The Billdozah ABSOLUTELY should reflect the opinion of anyone who wants to enjoy Monday Night Raw again. If you disagree, just find episodes of Raw from 2007 and 2008 because we’ve been there and done that. And you know what the worst part is? It sucked then!)
P.S. Remember when Randy Orton was getting over so huge they almost had to turn him babyface? He laid out every McMahon until Hunter came out and well, took the sails out of Orton, who hasn’t and may not recover. I liked Orton…he grew up with great facials, no longer was a terrible promo, and made you feel the emotions going on in his mind. But now, I could care less, even though I did enjoy the eyes popping out the head at Night of Champions. Also Randy, can you have good wrestling matches? Still waiting. At WrestleMania you should have kicked Triple H in the head and had sex with his wife.
Where did you go Monday Night Raw? A Nation (or ugh, WWE Universe) turns its lonely eyes to you…
Instead, I believe the real wrestling fan is flipping his clicker off of your sorry sack of a 2-hour television block.
Trying to figure out where to start so we don’t get 17 Microsoft Word Pages of dribble that will be too long for anyone to read…let’s see let’s see…how about the top of the card?
Triple H. John Cena. Randy Orton. Night of Champions was a disgrace if you ask me. WWE doesn’t want to give away much of John Cena vs. Triple H, since we are dying, absolutely pleading for the rematch of their 293rd official rematch. Yawn. The main events are so played out and so boring that Batista leaving actually led to the chance that we get to see someone new get elevated.
Since Batista went down and The Donald made the big 3-brand trade that sent shockwaves up and down WWE Universe (and I hate how EVERYONE is calling it that, great branding, make a fan want to puke every time you hear something) WWE had the opportunity to give someone a huge push. MVP? Jack Swagger? Evan Bourne? Nope, nope, nope. Those would be terrible choices. But back to those three in mere moments.
Raise you hand in the air when he tells you. Somebody’s gonna get their ass kicked. That’s right wrestling nerds, your hero Mark Henry has in particular order A) Defeated champion Randy Orton on his first night on Raw B) Destroyed the most compelling character Chris Jericho C) Have the second best time in Beat the Clock, that Cena narrowly defeated and D) Got to be Hornswaggle’s cousin!
And you cheered! Why? Why? Why? He sucks, I hate him, and he sucks. But you know what WWE, you got people to get excited about Henry; it only took you 17 years. All’s well that ends well.
Speaking of ending, can we end this Guest Host fiasco? I enjoyed Ted DiBiase. Shaq delivered a big rating. But seriously, it’s ruining the programs. These comedy sketches are dragging the flow of the show and making it impossible for anyone to really shine.
Which brings me to what I find as good about Monday Night Raw. If you look at the card, they have a great flux of talent ready to make it to the next level. It could be anyone of Ted DiBiase, Cody Rhodes, MVP, Evan Bourne, Jack Swagger, Kofi Kingston, etc. But nope, we get to see two segments each week dedicated to the historic Chavo Guerrero vs. Hornswaggle Feud of the Century.
My suggestion is to clean things up at the top of the card. Mix Jack Swagger with Triple H. Have John Cena taken to his limit by MVP. When Batista comes back have Ted DiBiase bitch slap him in the face and ask him if he blew is quad. Let Randy Orton make you think Evan Bourne is gonna 123 Kid his Razor Ramon ass. I hope every week to be proven wrong, and this week I was to some extent. Trips lost a handicap match to Legacy. Stop the presses. We just need Shawn to come back so DX can rightfully put those jobbers back in their place. Once again, I hope I’m wrong. Why should I hold my breath? Oh yeah, The Miz actually got over and now he might as well wear a mask and call himself Gillberg 2. He’ll have a better chance of winning.
So Monday Night Raw, you are probably in trouble…at least according to me. The vast majority of the audience has spoken and 2010 appears to be shaping up for a Mark Henry/Hornswaggle ticket to the White House. Sadly, I’ll be watching and learning once again what I don’t want to see.
-The Billdozah
(The opinions expressed by The Billdozah ABSOLUTELY should reflect the opinion of anyone who wants to enjoy Monday Night Raw again. If you disagree, just find episodes of Raw from 2007 and 2008 because we’ve been there and done that. And you know what the worst part is? It sucked then!)
P.S. Remember when Randy Orton was getting over so huge they almost had to turn him babyface? He laid out every McMahon until Hunter came out and well, took the sails out of Orton, who hasn’t and may not recover. I liked Orton…he grew up with great facials, no longer was a terrible promo, and made you feel the emotions going on in his mind. But now, I could care less, even though I did enjoy the eyes popping out the head at Night of Champions. Also Randy, can you have good wrestling matches? Still waiting. At WrestleMania you should have kicked Triple H in the head and had sex with his wife.
Friday, July 10, 2009
6/22/2002...The Day Wrestling Changed
Let me first begin by noting that I do, once again, watch WWE and TNA religiously...
With that being said, the more I watch the more I am disappointed and the more I ask myself why I continue to put myself through what I refer to as un-entertaining Sports Entertainment. The product is stale. There is absolutely nothing worth looking forward to right now. It's the same talent, with the same gimmicks and storylines, fighting the same ppl in the same main event matches. No character development to speak of with no influx of new talent. Needless to say, not overly enthuised or encouraged with the product we are currently and have recently been privelaged to in the past year and a half. The lack of suitable alternatives with the funds to compete don't help either. Ready to take a ride? Please follow me on this journey and I promise it will all make sense in the end as I believe I have pinpointed the exact moment I learned to dislike "mainstream" professional wrestling.
The journey recently begins about three weeks ago, Jimmy James and the Billdozer asked me if I was interested in stopping by the zone for the ROH PPV. I obliged, not having seen a ROH show in probably 2 and a half years. I originally began watching ROH, upon the advice of The Billdozer and Jimmy James, at its inception about 7 years ago and loved it. After a few years of traveling to live events and reading results, etc. I for some reason just stopped paying attention. No real explanation, hopefully it was vagina. I kind of stopped watching wrestling in general actually, WWE included. As time went on I eventually got reeled back into "mainstream" wrestling, but for some reason did not re-attach to ROH.
So I'm at the zone, watching ROH, not really knowing all the talent but recognizing some of the current performers. Being a past fan, and obviously impressed by what I was watching, I asked Jimmy James if I could borrow some DVD's to catch up from my "ROH hiatus." Needless to say I walked out of the zone that night with a grocery bag of DVD's.... Fast Forward to about two nights ago, being bored and waiting for the Real World to come on, I decided to pop in Undeniable from 10/07 when Nigel beats Morishima for the ROH title and upon the conclusion of that DVD, for the first time in almost 4 years I regreted losing interest in professional wrestling. Before you feel like I'm sitting here getting all teared up, let me just clarify that it was not specifically this show that caused these feelings. It was a great show, far better than any other wrestling being offered these days, but it was more the memories the DVD brought back in regards to the ROH product as a whole. Back when I began watching ROH it changed my whole perspective of how I viewed professional wrestling. This DVD specifically brought back one special memory, a moment I will never forget and would like to refer to as, "The Day Wrestling Changed."
"The Day Wrestling Changed," refers to my absolute fondest live wrestling moment ever. It revolves around "driving" down to Philadelphia with a group of my friends to see the ROH "Road to the Title" show. The show itself is still to this day the best live wrestling event I have ever seen, Wrestlemania 16 and Royal Rumble's included. Top to bottom fantastic. If you watch the opening sequence of the Low Ki and Amazing Red match and don't get a hard-on then I question your love for professional wrestling. It will blow your mind and change your opinions of professional wrestling as you know it. As of that moment and this event alone I became hooked on wrestling for the sake of wrestling and not entertainment. Why did I become hooked? Because I thought to myself, "this is what professional wrestling is supposed to be about." A 16 man tournament to see who got to go on and fight for the strap. No unrealistic storylines, no run in's, no promos. "Road to the Title" made me forget about "Sports Entertainment," and fully recognize, understand and appreciate "Professional Wrestling." The venue was the Murphy Rec Center in 95 degree heat with the smell of sourcraut in the air. Two camera's, a couple hundred people max, and a group of the most talented performers I, still to this day, have ever seen, but had never known. This spectacular included some of the best matches I have ever had the previlage to see in person or on video. Obviously I have not and will not see every match ever performed, but I have watched professional wrestling consistently since 1985 and that night in Philly provided me with memories that I will never forget and have yet to be matched by anything WWE or TNA has done since. Athleticism, innovation, and flat out pure wrestling as I had never seen before. The atmosphere in the Rec Center was amazing. I was almost speechless. 3+ hours of matches that I would never think to fast forward through. The crowd ate it up and loved each guy for different reasons. No distinguished faces and heels...just a group of performers doing what they do better than most in the world. No cheap finishes, just clean wrestling matches, amazing spots and public displays of respect pre and post match. Each match tried, and more times than not, succeeded in out-doing the one before. As close as you may get to heaven for true wrestling fans.
It was that day and event that single handedly changed everything that is wrestling for me. I honestly could make an argument that this specific event along with the first couple years of ROH is the reason I am rarely impressed with anything I see from today's product. Looking back I am mostly excited, but also a partely disappointed. Of the 16 guys in the tournament that night, at least half have moved on to try and play with the "Big Fish." Most have failed in their attempts and are now small contributors to what we are regularly FORCED to watch on a weekly basis in professional wrestling. None of them have made the impact they should have. Their talents wasted by "Sports Entertainment." We all know what could have been and what should be, but will it ever happen? That is a good question.
MikeyBear
With that being said, the more I watch the more I am disappointed and the more I ask myself why I continue to put myself through what I refer to as un-entertaining Sports Entertainment. The product is stale. There is absolutely nothing worth looking forward to right now. It's the same talent, with the same gimmicks and storylines, fighting the same ppl in the same main event matches. No character development to speak of with no influx of new talent. Needless to say, not overly enthuised or encouraged with the product we are currently and have recently been privelaged to in the past year and a half. The lack of suitable alternatives with the funds to compete don't help either. Ready to take a ride? Please follow me on this journey and I promise it will all make sense in the end as I believe I have pinpointed the exact moment I learned to dislike "mainstream" professional wrestling.
The journey recently begins about three weeks ago, Jimmy James and the Billdozer asked me if I was interested in stopping by the zone for the ROH PPV. I obliged, not having seen a ROH show in probably 2 and a half years. I originally began watching ROH, upon the advice of The Billdozer and Jimmy James, at its inception about 7 years ago and loved it. After a few years of traveling to live events and reading results, etc. I for some reason just stopped paying attention. No real explanation, hopefully it was vagina. I kind of stopped watching wrestling in general actually, WWE included. As time went on I eventually got reeled back into "mainstream" wrestling, but for some reason did not re-attach to ROH.
So I'm at the zone, watching ROH, not really knowing all the talent but recognizing some of the current performers. Being a past fan, and obviously impressed by what I was watching, I asked Jimmy James if I could borrow some DVD's to catch up from my "ROH hiatus." Needless to say I walked out of the zone that night with a grocery bag of DVD's.... Fast Forward to about two nights ago, being bored and waiting for the Real World to come on, I decided to pop in Undeniable from 10/07 when Nigel beats Morishima for the ROH title and upon the conclusion of that DVD, for the first time in almost 4 years I regreted losing interest in professional wrestling. Before you feel like I'm sitting here getting all teared up, let me just clarify that it was not specifically this show that caused these feelings. It was a great show, far better than any other wrestling being offered these days, but it was more the memories the DVD brought back in regards to the ROH product as a whole. Back when I began watching ROH it changed my whole perspective of how I viewed professional wrestling. This DVD specifically brought back one special memory, a moment I will never forget and would like to refer to as, "The Day Wrestling Changed."
"The Day Wrestling Changed," refers to my absolute fondest live wrestling moment ever. It revolves around "driving" down to Philadelphia with a group of my friends to see the ROH "Road to the Title" show. The show itself is still to this day the best live wrestling event I have ever seen, Wrestlemania 16 and Royal Rumble's included. Top to bottom fantastic. If you watch the opening sequence of the Low Ki and Amazing Red match and don't get a hard-on then I question your love for professional wrestling. It will blow your mind and change your opinions of professional wrestling as you know it. As of that moment and this event alone I became hooked on wrestling for the sake of wrestling and not entertainment. Why did I become hooked? Because I thought to myself, "this is what professional wrestling is supposed to be about." A 16 man tournament to see who got to go on and fight for the strap. No unrealistic storylines, no run in's, no promos. "Road to the Title" made me forget about "Sports Entertainment," and fully recognize, understand and appreciate "Professional Wrestling." The venue was the Murphy Rec Center in 95 degree heat with the smell of sourcraut in the air. Two camera's, a couple hundred people max, and a group of the most talented performers I, still to this day, have ever seen, but had never known. This spectacular included some of the best matches I have ever had the previlage to see in person or on video. Obviously I have not and will not see every match ever performed, but I have watched professional wrestling consistently since 1985 and that night in Philly provided me with memories that I will never forget and have yet to be matched by anything WWE or TNA has done since. Athleticism, innovation, and flat out pure wrestling as I had never seen before. The atmosphere in the Rec Center was amazing. I was almost speechless. 3+ hours of matches that I would never think to fast forward through. The crowd ate it up and loved each guy for different reasons. No distinguished faces and heels...just a group of performers doing what they do better than most in the world. No cheap finishes, just clean wrestling matches, amazing spots and public displays of respect pre and post match. Each match tried, and more times than not, succeeded in out-doing the one before. As close as you may get to heaven for true wrestling fans.
It was that day and event that single handedly changed everything that is wrestling for me. I honestly could make an argument that this specific event along with the first couple years of ROH is the reason I am rarely impressed with anything I see from today's product. Looking back I am mostly excited, but also a partely disappointed. Of the 16 guys in the tournament that night, at least half have moved on to try and play with the "Big Fish." Most have failed in their attempts and are now small contributors to what we are regularly FORCED to watch on a weekly basis in professional wrestling. None of them have made the impact they should have. Their talents wasted by "Sports Entertainment." We all know what could have been and what should be, but will it ever happen? That is a good question.
MikeyBear
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Mixed Martial Entertainment
I will be the first to tell you I was not the first to jump on the MMA bandwagon but I have become a fan. I would always say that it was a “work” and would tell my buddy Boog how I would “book” things and he would get pissed. I want to let you know I am not saying that I think MMA is fake. I don’t think they pull punches like they do in wrestling, I know they beat the living shit out of each other. I am just saying Dana white and the UFC has a plan going forward after every fight and I think it would be in their best interest and would make the best business sense to work the finish. One of the earliest shoot fighting organizations was UWFI and it featured pro wrestlers like Vader and Bob Backland and even UFC pioneers like Dan Severn. The fights were real but the finishes were worked. It’s the best of both worlds. The fans got to see guys beat the shit out of each other shoot style but the office always knew where to go next. That was what I meant when I would UFC is a work. Either way they have an exciting product and it seems like there are more exciting things to come.
This weekend live from ....Las Vegas.... we have UFC 100 featuring Brock Lesnar vs. Frank Mir for the undisputed championship. I have been watching Spike TV a lot recently. I have been watching the Ultimate 100 countdown, it’s the 100 best UFC fights of all time. The show is great and it is littered with commercials for UFC 100 and they sucked me in. I already ordered the show and have to set to record. I am going away this weekend and I am going on spoiler lockdown from Saturday night until I watch the fight Sunday night. UFC even put together an hour special countdown special. Now I dunno if they usually do this or they did this since Brock Lesnar was a WWE superstar, but this show was like a WWE preview and it was awesome. You had Lesnar and Mir cutting promos on each other and you had Bisping and Henderson cutting promos on each other. Brock even got pissed and was shitting on the ref and had enough of the footage and ripped a door off the hinges. It was pretty bad ass and definitely had the feel of pro wrestling. I know for years UFC always tried to distance themselves from pro wrestling but I feel as though now that they have a former WWE Champion and a huge star from the WWE they know it will bring wrestling fans and they seem to be embracing that fact and giving us what we want.
I am hoping Brock kicks the shit out of Mir, because I think it will help the UFC present some kick ass fights down the road. If you have seen the commercials, they are having the UFC Ultimate fighter show be based around heavyweights this season and Kimbo Slice will be a part of it. I think Kimbo vs. Brock will be the biggest fight of all time and you have to figure Dana White has that on his back burner. I am telling you by work or by shoot we will see that fight, and I will plunk done $55 to see it!
Until next time
Jimmy james
This weekend live from ....Las Vegas.... we have UFC 100 featuring Brock Lesnar vs. Frank Mir for the undisputed championship. I have been watching Spike TV a lot recently. I have been watching the Ultimate 100 countdown, it’s the 100 best UFC fights of all time. The show is great and it is littered with commercials for UFC 100 and they sucked me in. I already ordered the show and have to set to record. I am going away this weekend and I am going on spoiler lockdown from Saturday night until I watch the fight Sunday night. UFC even put together an hour special countdown special. Now I dunno if they usually do this or they did this since Brock Lesnar was a WWE superstar, but this show was like a WWE preview and it was awesome. You had Lesnar and Mir cutting promos on each other and you had Bisping and Henderson cutting promos on each other. Brock even got pissed and was shitting on the ref and had enough of the footage and ripped a door off the hinges. It was pretty bad ass and definitely had the feel of pro wrestling. I know for years UFC always tried to distance themselves from pro wrestling but I feel as though now that they have a former WWE Champion and a huge star from the WWE they know it will bring wrestling fans and they seem to be embracing that fact and giving us what we want.
I am hoping Brock kicks the shit out of Mir, because I think it will help the UFC present some kick ass fights down the road. If you have seen the commercials, they are having the UFC Ultimate fighter show be based around heavyweights this season and Kimbo Slice will be a part of it. I think Kimbo vs. Brock will be the biggest fight of all time and you have to figure Dana White has that on his back burner. I am telling you by work or by shoot we will see that fight, and I will plunk done $55 to see it!
Until next time
Jimmy james
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Sheiky Roast...The Finale!!!
After much deliberation it is time to close the door on the very first Ring Roast; The Iron Sheik had his day in the sun and great fun was had by all…well that is until an Owen Hart joke.JJ: I thought the Owen joke was kinda funny. It’s a roast people…the whole deal is to be offensive and funny. The Owen joke was not as offensive as Eric Simms’ act. That was offensive to the art of comedy
The evening was going well. I’m going to say that the focus of the roast needs to be more of comedy and appreciation as many of the comedians didn’t realize that the fans really wanted to be there to show their love to the one and only man who humbled B. Brian Blair!
Ok…let’s get to what was the most important part of the evening. Mr. Scott Hall. After the Owen Hart joke (the only thing that fell harder than the Iron Sheik’s career was Owen Hart, I believe is what he said) Scott went off. I don’t know what happened, but there was no turning back. Poor Jimmy Powers tried everything he could to get him to leave but he wouldn’t. A large bouncer really didn’t do his job since Hall kept getting kicked out and coming back in to ruin the festivities.
JJ: In my drunken stupor I thought that Jimmy Powers was Scott Putski. I was extremely embarrassed that I didn’t recognize the man who opened just about every Boston Garden card I went to.
At this point, I realized what was going on. Well I think I did. You see the countless beers, Jager Bombs, etc. etc. had caught up to me and I was feeling not like a million bucks, but $50 billion dollars cold hard cash. Nevertheless, I followed Scott Hall around behind him and got up close as the people running the show were frantically trying to get him to calm down and or leave. When I got back to the table, Jimmy James asked Sean Oliver if he wanted him to calm Hall down. Oliver declined the request and told us to sit down. I don’t think we did for long.
JJ: So for some reason Bill and I thought it would be a good idea to get up and flank Scott Hall as he got up and told the roasters to suck it. As we were posing and crotch chopping with the Bad Guy I thought I should try to get the situation in hand and I asked Mr. Oliver, of Kayfabe Commentaries, if he needed me and bill to calm him down. We were told to sit and we kept drinking.
The stories of Hall getting tazered were unfounded. We ran into him in the hallway after and struck up conversation. J.J. even snuck into the picture Hall and Sheik took after the Roast.
JJ: After sneaking a few pictures with those legends. Bill and I held court with Scott Hall. He is really such a nice guy. We had only met him earlier that night but he treated us like we were old friends. There was a crowd of like 50 people around us just listening to us the 3 of shoot the shit about wrestling. It seemed like all these people assumed we were the best of friends. Then Scott posed for pics with Bill and left for the night.
But back to the Roast; it was a hell of an event. The sails were taken out a bit due to Hall, but hey controversy sells DVD’s Sean-o!!!
The night was capped off by the Sheik refusing Blair’s plea to mend fences. He slapped the bastard in the face to close an intriguing event. At this point the waiter came over to me and told me I was right, he had never seen something like this before.
So, J.J. and I had a great time and had to get up early (around 6 a.m.) to head back home. It was time for bed. Not! We went back to the bar, realized we should go to our room to get some bar sodas (also known as Bud Light bottles) and return to said bar. When we returned several of the wait staff glanced at us since they only sold B-lites in aluminum bottles…ours were glass and a bit smaller in size. Whoopsi indeed!!!
JJ: Yeah we were getting weird looks in the bar when we brought in beers they didn’t sell in the bar. So we decided to drink in the lobby…. No one seemed to care. And we scored some pictures with Bill Apter, Don Muraco, Bob Backland, and that dude from A Christmas Story.
King Kahlua was a blast to talk to. The man spoke to us like we were old pals; that fuck Brandi didn’t like him talking to us “marks” until we bought him a few beers. Last time I make that mistake Salvatore…or should I say Patriot…the secret is out!
JJ: Kahlua was fucking wicked cool, Brandi was a douche, and Mean Gene was out of it. But Gene was a hell of a nice guy.
To cap a long story short, the time at the bar ended with me smashing a draft beer onto the bar, then standing on the glass like that would clean it up. At least I was apologetic. The guy who cleaned it up explained I wouldn’t be the first or last person to break something at a bar. I don’t think I comprehended. I was on Cloud 57 at this point (much drunker than being on Cloud 9).
JJ: I’m not sure how Bill ended up with the draft since we were rocking the bottles all night but it was funny as hell when the glass broke. I told him it was cool but he decided to stand in the broken glass…not sure why, but great nonetheless. Bill then said he may have jokingly tipped $1 million. I think Bill was making beef on cloud 9.
We went outside for a bit to, I believe sober up. We didn’t, and we didn’t get much sleep either. Maybe 3 hours max, and I’m probably being generous.
JJ: We got to the room and decided to fight over whether we should sleep or stay up all night. This some how ended up with me leaving the hotel room in my undies with my ass out and I got on the elevator. That’s when I realized didn’t have a key so I went back to the room and grabbed Bill’s pants, and I put them on, left the room again only to find out that my wallet was in Bill’s pants! Utterly perplexed and shitfaced I went back to the room yelled at Bill for stealing my wallet, then passed out.
But back to the Roast; it was a hell of an event. The sails were taken out a bit due to Hall, but hey controversy sells DVD’s Sean-o!!!
The night was capped off by the Sheik refusing Blair’s plea to mend fences. He slapped the bastard in the face to close an intriguing event. At this point the waiter came over to me and told me I was right, he had never seen something like this before.
So, J.J. and I had a great time and had to get up early (around 6 a.m.) to head back home. It was time for bed. Not! We went back to the bar, realized we should go to our room to get some bar sodas (also known as Bud Light bottles) and return to said bar. When we returned several of the wait staff glanced at us since they only sold B-lites in aluminum bottles…ours were glass and a bit smaller in size. Whoopsi indeed!!!
JJ: Yeah we were getting weird looks in the bar when we brought in beers they didn’t sell in the bar. So we decided to drink in the lobby…. No one seemed to care. And we scored some pictures with Bill Apter, Don Muraco, Bob Backland, and that dude from A Christmas Story.
King Kahlua was a blast to talk to. The man spoke to us like we were old pals; that fuck Brandi didn’t like him talking to us “marks” until we bought him a few beers. Last time I make that mistake Salvatore…or should I say Patriot…the secret is out!
JJ: Kahlua was fucking wicked cool, Brandi was a douche, and Mean Gene was out of it. But Gene was a hell of a nice guy.
To cap a long story short, the time at the bar ended with me smashing a draft beer onto the bar, then standing on the glass like that would clean it up. At least I was apologetic. The guy who cleaned it up explained I wouldn’t be the first or last person to break something at a bar. I don’t think I comprehended. I was on Cloud 57 at this point (much drunker than being on Cloud 9).
JJ: I’m not sure how Bill ended up with the draft since we were rocking the bottles all night but it was funny as hell when the glass broke. I told him it was cool but he decided to stand in the broken glass…not sure why, but great nonetheless. Bill then said he may have jokingly tipped $1 million. I think Bill was making beef on cloud 9.
We went outside for a bit to, I believe sober up. We didn’t, and we didn’t get much sleep either. Maybe 3 hours max, and I’m probably being generous.
JJ: We got to the room and decided to fight over whether we should sleep or stay up all night. This some how ended up with me leaving the hotel room in my undies with my ass out and I got on the elevator. That’s when I realized didn’t have a key so I went back to the room and grabbed Bill’s pants, and I put them on, left the room again only to find out that my wallet was in Bill’s pants! Utterly perplexed and shitfaced I went back to the room yelled at Bill for stealing my wallet, then passed out.
Would I attend another Ring Roast? You fucking bet! I already have tickets for the All Funked up Roast for the one and only Terry Funk. Can’t. Frigging. Wait.
-The Billdozah
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Off The Mark Blog is Owen
It still pains me to think back to the Over The Edge 1999 pay per view. I was watching at my uncle’s house and was in a state of shock. Death and wrestling for me were not the common occurrence that would develop years later. My father hit on it in his Owen interview where he stated that it was the first time someone that I idolized on television was taken, and at such a young age as well.
Looking back on Owen’s career makes it much easier to put it into perspective. The man was at his best in the antagonist role. His brother Bret should thank his stars he had a younger brother that was so good at making Bret sympathetic. With tears on his face, he pleaded with mother Helen to throw in the towel so Bret wouldn’t continue to struggle in Backlund’s Chicken Wing. As soon as the towel hit the ring, we saw the tears disappear! Owen got us again!
Owen 3:16, I just broke your neck. Stone Cold Steve Austin’s career was almost ended in an instant as Owen botched a tombstone piledriver crashing the bald head into the mat. When Austin got to his feet and walked out on his own, a shining star was shot and we got to see him rise to levels unseen of. You then have Owen on television taking pleasure in Austin’s injury; such real life emotions played perfectly to add a new layer to each man’s character.
The best night of Owen Hart’s career was the 1994 King of the Ring. His brother Bret won the crown the year before, but the King of Harts was born on this epic evening. The WWF lights never shone brighter on the youngest Hart than on this night. Had his life not been taken too soon, perhaps Owen would have gone on to win a World Title and cement his status as a prime time player. The skills, the character, the unique promo abilities all combine into one of the best all around performers I have had the privilege of seeing.
What we will hopefully remember best is that Owen loved to make people laugh. Countless tales of his ribbing have been told. He had fun in the ring beating people up with napkins and coat hangers. No one says a bad word about Owen. They put over his family man persona that far outweighs anything that he accomplished in the ring. The Two Time Slammy Award winner was a father and a husband that put those jobs first; in the business of professional wrestling no one had their priorities in as much order as we have learned Owen had. It’s too bad he couldn’t have retired early and spent the time with his family that he really wanted and missed while traveling on the road.
Owen, you should be remembered for having strong family values in the industry that makes it so difficult do so…whatever you achieved in the ring is second to that. And that’s saying something because you will be fondly remembered in my and countless other wrestling fan’s minds.
Thank you for the memories. Wrestling wouldn’t have been the same without you and hasn’t been with you gone.
Looking back on Owen’s career makes it much easier to put it into perspective. The man was at his best in the antagonist role. His brother Bret should thank his stars he had a younger brother that was so good at making Bret sympathetic. With tears on his face, he pleaded with mother Helen to throw in the towel so Bret wouldn’t continue to struggle in Backlund’s Chicken Wing. As soon as the towel hit the ring, we saw the tears disappear! Owen got us again!
Owen 3:16, I just broke your neck. Stone Cold Steve Austin’s career was almost ended in an instant as Owen botched a tombstone piledriver crashing the bald head into the mat. When Austin got to his feet and walked out on his own, a shining star was shot and we got to see him rise to levels unseen of. You then have Owen on television taking pleasure in Austin’s injury; such real life emotions played perfectly to add a new layer to each man’s character.
The best night of Owen Hart’s career was the 1994 King of the Ring. His brother Bret won the crown the year before, but the King of Harts was born on this epic evening. The WWF lights never shone brighter on the youngest Hart than on this night. Had his life not been taken too soon, perhaps Owen would have gone on to win a World Title and cement his status as a prime time player. The skills, the character, the unique promo abilities all combine into one of the best all around performers I have had the privilege of seeing.
What we will hopefully remember best is that Owen loved to make people laugh. Countless tales of his ribbing have been told. He had fun in the ring beating people up with napkins and coat hangers. No one says a bad word about Owen. They put over his family man persona that far outweighs anything that he accomplished in the ring. The Two Time Slammy Award winner was a father and a husband that put those jobs first; in the business of professional wrestling no one had their priorities in as much order as we have learned Owen had. It’s too bad he couldn’t have retired early and spent the time with his family that he really wanted and missed while traveling on the road.
Owen, you should be remembered for having strong family values in the industry that makes it so difficult do so…whatever you achieved in the ring is second to that. And that’s saying something because you will be fondly remembered in my and countless other wrestling fan’s minds.
Thank you for the memories. Wrestling wouldn’t have been the same without you and hasn’t been with you gone.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Ask the Marks without the Billdozer???
I disagree with the opinions of host Jimmy James and the newly debuted Scootch from their most recent segment on Ask The Marks. It’s reasons like this why I should be the sole host of this part of the show. I bring the fire that burns the wood baby! I’m just kidding, Jimmy James did a great job filling in for me as I was at the Garden watching the Bruins lose in pathetic fashion.
Back to the heart of the matter, I want to hit on their comments on C.M. Punk cashing in the “Money In The Bank” title shot after defeating Edge with the GTS. What I loved about this was that it allowed for some intrigue for the live audience and those watching on television. We now know that Punk was going to cash in his title shot and he was “this close” to being a world champion again…until Umaga crashed the party.
WWE found a means to have the Punker cash in, without cashing in. The live crowd got the ultimate tease, thinking they were going to see a title change. Instead we got the attack, which sets up a fresh matchup for both Punk and Umaga. Hopefully, they deliver because there is plenty of opportunities on Friday Night Smackdown with the kings of the roost being all over Monday Night Raw (i.e. HHH, Orton, Cena, Batista, etc.). The live crowd may have been let down with the attack, but they were sent home happy with Jeff Hardy attacking Edge to close the show.
I’m now on watch to see when C.M. Punk cashes in his title shot; will he do it in front of the hometown masses in Chicago? Not sure, but the countdown is on and hopefully Punk solidifies his standing at the top of Smackdown!
Right now, what show excites you more? I love seeing the best performer of the last year (Chris Jericho), the biggest heel (Edge), the true top babyface (Jeff Hardy) and other stars that are ready for a turn at the top (Umaga, Punk, and Mysterio). Even better, we don’t have Triple H or John Cena to hog up the entire spotlight. Would any of these guys swap places with Mr. Kennedy or MVP on Monday Night Raw? Skeptical.
The Undertaker may be a tired act for some (myself included most of the time!) but after seeing what he did with Shawn Michaels, I can’t wait for a big matchup that’s waiting between him and Chris Jericho. Smackdown is getting me excited with these possibilities, and therein includes my issues with how Wrestlemania turned out. For the most part, the title matchups had a “we’ve seen it before” attitude. Now Smackdown can pick two names out a hat, and I’ll probably be more excited than anything Raw can dish out. We’ll have to wait a few years for the Ted DiBiase’s to take over.
-The Billdozer
Back to the heart of the matter, I want to hit on their comments on C.M. Punk cashing in the “Money In The Bank” title shot after defeating Edge with the GTS. What I loved about this was that it allowed for some intrigue for the live audience and those watching on television. We now know that Punk was going to cash in his title shot and he was “this close” to being a world champion again…until Umaga crashed the party.
WWE found a means to have the Punker cash in, without cashing in. The live crowd got the ultimate tease, thinking they were going to see a title change. Instead we got the attack, which sets up a fresh matchup for both Punk and Umaga. Hopefully, they deliver because there is plenty of opportunities on Friday Night Smackdown with the kings of the roost being all over Monday Night Raw (i.e. HHH, Orton, Cena, Batista, etc.). The live crowd may have been let down with the attack, but they were sent home happy with Jeff Hardy attacking Edge to close the show.
I’m now on watch to see when C.M. Punk cashes in his title shot; will he do it in front of the hometown masses in Chicago? Not sure, but the countdown is on and hopefully Punk solidifies his standing at the top of Smackdown!
Right now, what show excites you more? I love seeing the best performer of the last year (Chris Jericho), the biggest heel (Edge), the true top babyface (Jeff Hardy) and other stars that are ready for a turn at the top (Umaga, Punk, and Mysterio). Even better, we don’t have Triple H or John Cena to hog up the entire spotlight. Would any of these guys swap places with Mr. Kennedy or MVP on Monday Night Raw? Skeptical.
The Undertaker may be a tired act for some (myself included most of the time!) but after seeing what he did with Shawn Michaels, I can’t wait for a big matchup that’s waiting between him and Chris Jericho. Smackdown is getting me excited with these possibilities, and therein includes my issues with how Wrestlemania turned out. For the most part, the title matchups had a “we’ve seen it before” attitude. Now Smackdown can pick two names out a hat, and I’ll probably be more excited than anything Raw can dish out. We’ll have to wait a few years for the Ted DiBiase’s to take over.
-The Billdozer
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Thoughts, Ramblings, and Stammerings!!!
Mick Foley as TNA Champ? Sounds good on paper; perhaps 10 years from now when we forget the context of him being a shell of his former, him being linked with the top title will be good for business. As he showed with his unique interview of Cactus Jack (that’s right he rotated between being Mick Foley and his alter ego), Foley can deliver on the microphone any time he touches it. I believe his downfall is when he falls into the Vince McMahon syndrome of catering to his own humor with some of his campy lines…needless to say that’s where the shit hits the fan.
Foley (as he has stated himself in his books) is at his best when he personally believes in what he is saying. Hopefully TNA has something good planned for Mick’s first reign as champion. If nothing else, Foley was capable of being a star maker. Let’s hope he gets his hands on a younger guy in TNA and brings him up to the hardcore legend’s level. Who will that be? Time will tell.
Another talking point coming out of the TNA PPV was the debut of Bobby Lashley. I by no means am a fan of Mr. Lashley at all. I feel he hasn’t progressed to the level that his numerous pushes dictate. We have already been teased with a potential feud with Kurt Angle, so at least the Lasher will be in good hands. I’ve heard rumors of a Bob Sapp vs. Bobby Lashley MMA fight; that actually intrigues me more. I like Lashley better in MMA since he is a big guy with a name and has the freak factor. Hopefully Bobby puts his working boots on and doesn’t mail in his wrestling matches going forward. He does have a bit of potential, I just don’t see him ever living up to it.
Speaking of MMA, if you are a follower of the sport and would like to become our resident expert, please contact us at OffTheMarkShow@gmail.com
TNA, I’m going to tell you something. You need to do a better job of catering to the former ECW crowds. Guys like Spike and Balls should be fixtures on your program. The way to get those guys over was how they were attacked and bludgeoned by Beer Money. You need to have them used in this way every few months or so, but give them something that they can sink their teeth into. There are numerous former ECW talents on the roster, as well as a plethora of available talent on the sidelines that could help freshen up the TNA product from top to bottom. I’ll have more thoughts on what could be done with these guys (and others) if they sign them or change up their show format a little bit.
That’s how I’m thinking. You’ve just been bowled ova’!
-The Billdozer
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Mania Stream of Consciousness!!!
Hello folks, The Billdozer is back and he's taking a break from the ramblings of the Iron Sheik Roast to give you his stream of consciousness on Wrestlemania 25...
We are just about one hour away from the yearly extravaganza that has left countless memories and timeless classics along the way. From Hogan to Savage...Hart to Michaels...Austin to the Rock...HHH to Cena...to the present day we may enter the evening with promises and hope that a single pay per view broadcast has troubling cashing.
What Wrestlemania does better than any show in wrestling history is give you a timeline of moments that you will remember forever. Whether you like it or not World Wrestling Entertainment is the keeper of pop wrestling's storied history.
Taking a moment and reflecting on "the showcase of the immortals" I believe the 25th edition of the big one delivered a few unforgettable moments.
You cannot argue that Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels delivered. Ask Triple H and Randy Orton. This is the second main event that Trips has been involved in that the crowd was burnt out on based on a match that could not be followed (the first is his bout vs. Jericho, as it had to follow Rock vs. Hogan). The Taker retained hold of perhaps wrestling's greatest stat, an undefeated string of victories that will probably never be duplicated. The man almost broke his neck with this classic. Shawn Michaels proved once again why he is called Mr. Wrestlemania. Everyone knew the Deadman was going to win, but Shawn made you think maybe, just maybe, the streak was coming to an end.
I will never forget Ricky Steamboat turning back the clock; this was his opportunity to remind the youthful WWE fans that he is one of the greatest performers the sport has ever seen. Credit goes to Chris Jericho as well. He provided a mug for Mickey Rourke to KO and I'm sure we will see that clip all over the place in the coming days.
CM Punk wins Money in the Bank and it reminds you that WWE had an entire year of shooting him to the top before failing once again to give us a primetime star to mix it up with the current establishment of main eventers. Here's hoping he's in the title picture for most of the year going forward.
On that note, I have taken up more time than you probably care to share, and I appreciate you taking the time to hear out my opinions. Good show, that had some stellar moments.
We are just about one hour away from the yearly extravaganza that has left countless memories and timeless classics along the way. From Hogan to Savage...Hart to Michaels...Austin to the Rock...HHH to Cena...to the present day we may enter the evening with promises and hope that a single pay per view broadcast has troubling cashing.
What Wrestlemania does better than any show in wrestling history is give you a timeline of moments that you will remember forever. Whether you like it or not World Wrestling Entertainment is the keeper of pop wrestling's storied history.
Taking a moment and reflecting on "the showcase of the immortals" I believe the 25th edition of the big one delivered a few unforgettable moments.
You cannot argue that Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels delivered. Ask Triple H and Randy Orton. This is the second main event that Trips has been involved in that the crowd was burnt out on based on a match that could not be followed (the first is his bout vs. Jericho, as it had to follow Rock vs. Hogan). The Taker retained hold of perhaps wrestling's greatest stat, an undefeated string of victories that will probably never be duplicated. The man almost broke his neck with this classic. Shawn Michaels proved once again why he is called Mr. Wrestlemania. Everyone knew the Deadman was going to win, but Shawn made you think maybe, just maybe, the streak was coming to an end.
I will never forget Ricky Steamboat turning back the clock; this was his opportunity to remind the youthful WWE fans that he is one of the greatest performers the sport has ever seen. Credit goes to Chris Jericho as well. He provided a mug for Mickey Rourke to KO and I'm sure we will see that clip all over the place in the coming days.
CM Punk wins Money in the Bank and it reminds you that WWE had an entire year of shooting him to the top before failing once again to give us a primetime star to mix it up with the current establishment of main eventers. Here's hoping he's in the title picture for most of the year going forward.
On that note, I have taken up more time than you probably care to share, and I appreciate you taking the time to hear out my opinions. Good show, that had some stellar moments.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Part two: Sheiky baby!!!
I did begin meeting some of the boys when we decided to partake in happy hour at the hotel bar. While going down the elevator we ran into none other than Scott Hall. I asked him if he was attending the Sheik Roast, and he was unsure, as he had never actually met the Sheik. The conversation ended with me pointing him in the wrong way to the hotel gym. Whoops!
Happy hour was upon us. There were several wrestlers in the bar. At one table we saw (among others) Jake Roberts, Raven, and Jimmy Powers. Sitting at another table was legendary manager Mr. Fuji. I’m forgetting numerous people there; I do recall Jimmy James buying Kevin Sullivan two glasses of wine for him.
J.J. wanted to go outside to get some air and it was a good idea because we got to meet The Rocker Marty Jannetty! I got to tell him I was a big fan of his, and big surprise, he said he was a big fan of me brother! Marty then gave us the treat of helping him coax a lady friend to the event by way of his cell phone. Jimmy did an accent and told her he was from Australia; this was about 30 seconds before he told Marty we came up from Boston. Marty believed J.J. nevertheless. It was then my turn on the phone and I wanted to get this young lady there for Marty’s sake.
JJ: I was going to take a piss and on my way I saw Jakes Roberts heading to the elevator and he was wheezing and coughing. I asked him if was ok and he kinda half shook my hand and said yeah. It was weird.
I mean what would you do? The guy just finished giving you a big hug and tells you he is a big fan of me. What, am I going to let this man down? No no no. I turned the tide on, let’s call her Barbara. I throw her the old, “So Barbara you aren’t coming?” which sent Marty into a panic. He didn’t realize the reverse psychology game of cat and mouse I was playing (it was either that or I had no idea what I was doing, but really, don’t question me!). I told him, “Hey Marty, just kiddin, trying to get her to come, ya’ know?” He’s gets excited now that we are on the same page. He pat me on the back and said, “Keep it up brother, keep it up!” I never got confirmation but I hope Babs showed up.
From there, we were the first ones who got seating for the event. We said it was time to let people in and they checked their watches and let us in. Simple as that. Upon entering, we received some appetizers and struck up casual conversation with a waiter (who had a voice higher than Dave Hess). He said some yada yada about being from the same area as Hulk Hogan in Florida or something and I told him he had no idea what he was in for at this Roast. There was some awkward line that followed such as, “Oh if these walls could talk…” Yeah. He wasn’t ready. The same waiter came up to me later in the evening and told me I was right as he had never been part of such a crazy evening. More on that to follow.
End of part 2
Thursday, February 26, 2009
On The Road to the Iron Sheik Roast: Part 1
In October of last year, Jimmy James and myself packed up the 1998 Isuzu Rodeo and headed to lovely Monroe, New Jersey. Little did we know what was in store for us.
The drive down there was going as smooth as a baby’s bottom…not that I know what that feels like, but you get the analogy, so lets move on to more important matters. While driving through I believe Connecticut, a driver became very unhappy with me. He got directly in front of me and would not let me pass him. I slowed down to 40 miles per hour on the highway; he slowed down to the same speed. I tried to hit the gas and pass him, but this son of a bitch veers into the next lane and almost smacks into me.
I believe it’s at this point that he begins flipping us off. No wait, that was when Jimm grabbed the camera and started filming the idiot. A public service announcement stating to steer clear of this pool stick sucking son of a gun was in short order. Truth be told, I was getting nervous. This hunk of fecal matter was scaring the bejesus out of me, so I came up with a plan. At the next exit, I would put my blinker on and act like I was getting off, then at the last minute, I would get back onto the highway. I figured the moron would bite on the bait and take the exit. He wanted fisticuffs and by god I was gonna make him think he was getting em’! Long story short (too late) he bought, although he did flip us off until he faded off into the sunset…
JJ: Let me tell you driving through Connecticut man that was fucked up. This dude almost side swipes us and shit, but me and Bill go back to talking and then we notice the guy who almost side swiped us is going like 30 in the fast lane but every time we try to pass him he keeps drifting in front of us. Realizing the guy is some sort of asshole, I decide to film the experience. As soon as the dude sees the camera he starts flipping us off while continuing to impede our driving. Bill used some tricky driving and got the guy to go off the exit. I am mad at myself cuz I got caught up in flipping this dude off that the filming went to shits. It was an interesting way to start off the trip.
Now back to important matters. Jimmy James and I were headed to the Roast of the Iron Sheik. The evening was put together largely in part by the fine folks at Kayfabe Commentaries for a dvd release. To make matters all the better, a huge autograph signing was taking place the next day so legions of wrestlers were in town for the festivities.
JJ: One of my favorite things about going to the New Jersey/Philadelphia area is the Yuenglang and Yuenglang Light beer. Some people told me it was piss water but they can fuck off!
Imagine walking around and saying hello to Glacier. Then you see Bill Apter and he says hi to you, well because he thinks you are going to say hello to him even though you are not. Add in meeting several other wrestlers, and that is what Jimmy James experienced. Whenever I harkened out of the hotel room, I didn’t see anybody. But J.J. is a tad more adventurous than I; to the victor go the spoils.
JJ: The Billdozer is in fact a dozer. The dude sleeps late and likes to take naps. While he was still asleep I went and had a swim in the pool and walked around. I bumped into Sean Oliver on his way to film In the Office w/ Rene Goulet. After we got back from a lovely meal at Joe’s Crab shack the dozer dozed off and went down to the lobby to have a smoke and scope out the situation. I rode the elevator down with Glacier and we exchange pleasantries. From there I bumped into Don Muroco, Bill Apter, Brain Blair, and Jim Powers. As I walked through the lobby I heard a bunch of guys go, “Hey that’s the You Shoot guy!” I hope Bill’s beauty rest was worth it.
(Bill post edit: It wasn’t.)
End of part 1
The drive down there was going as smooth as a baby’s bottom…not that I know what that feels like, but you get the analogy, so lets move on to more important matters. While driving through I believe Connecticut, a driver became very unhappy with me. He got directly in front of me and would not let me pass him. I slowed down to 40 miles per hour on the highway; he slowed down to the same speed. I tried to hit the gas and pass him, but this son of a bitch veers into the next lane and almost smacks into me.
I believe it’s at this point that he begins flipping us off. No wait, that was when Jimm grabbed the camera and started filming the idiot. A public service announcement stating to steer clear of this pool stick sucking son of a gun was in short order. Truth be told, I was getting nervous. This hunk of fecal matter was scaring the bejesus out of me, so I came up with a plan. At the next exit, I would put my blinker on and act like I was getting off, then at the last minute, I would get back onto the highway. I figured the moron would bite on the bait and take the exit. He wanted fisticuffs and by god I was gonna make him think he was getting em’! Long story short (too late) he bought, although he did flip us off until he faded off into the sunset…
JJ: Let me tell you driving through Connecticut man that was fucked up. This dude almost side swipes us and shit, but me and Bill go back to talking and then we notice the guy who almost side swiped us is going like 30 in the fast lane but every time we try to pass him he keeps drifting in front of us. Realizing the guy is some sort of asshole, I decide to film the experience. As soon as the dude sees the camera he starts flipping us off while continuing to impede our driving. Bill used some tricky driving and got the guy to go off the exit. I am mad at myself cuz I got caught up in flipping this dude off that the filming went to shits. It was an interesting way to start off the trip.
Now back to important matters. Jimmy James and I were headed to the Roast of the Iron Sheik. The evening was put together largely in part by the fine folks at Kayfabe Commentaries for a dvd release. To make matters all the better, a huge autograph signing was taking place the next day so legions of wrestlers were in town for the festivities.
JJ: One of my favorite things about going to the New Jersey/Philadelphia area is the Yuenglang and Yuenglang Light beer. Some people told me it was piss water but they can fuck off!
Imagine walking around and saying hello to Glacier. Then you see Bill Apter and he says hi to you, well because he thinks you are going to say hello to him even though you are not. Add in meeting several other wrestlers, and that is what Jimmy James experienced. Whenever I harkened out of the hotel room, I didn’t see anybody. But J.J. is a tad more adventurous than I; to the victor go the spoils.
JJ: The Billdozer is in fact a dozer. The dude sleeps late and likes to take naps. While he was still asleep I went and had a swim in the pool and walked around. I bumped into Sean Oliver on his way to film In the Office w/ Rene Goulet. After we got back from a lovely meal at Joe’s Crab shack the dozer dozed off and went down to the lobby to have a smoke and scope out the situation. I rode the elevator down with Glacier and we exchange pleasantries. From there I bumped into Don Muroco, Bill Apter, Brain Blair, and Jim Powers. As I walked through the lobby I heard a bunch of guys go, “Hey that’s the You Shoot guy!” I hope Bill’s beauty rest was worth it.
(Bill post edit: It wasn’t.)
End of part 1
Sunday, February 22, 2009
What's crackin? The Release of Scotty Goldman...
From the desk of Jimmy James:
What’s crackin’ in WWE these days? In the past 6 months WWE has brought up many young performers from the FCW developmental territory to try to infuse the rosters with some young talent. Some of them have caught on like Jack Swagger, who quickly won the ECW title but most seem to do jobs and then are released with out much fanfare. This leads me to the news I read last night that Scotty Goldman was released by World Wrestling Entertainment. Just like everyone else on the chopping block they wish him the best in his future endeavors. This release puzzles me and unless it is strictly financial manner, this is one of the dumbest moves WWE has down in recent memory. Scotty Goldman, or Colt Cabana as he is more widely known is one of the most entertaining workers out there today. When he signed on with WWE about 2 years ago I was very excited because I knew the sky was the limit for this kid. It also helped that he is good friends with CM Punk who Vince took a liking to. As Punk’s stock was rising it seemed like it was inevitable that Colt would be brought up to the main roster.
In Ring of Honor Colt Cabana was one of the top guys. He cut great promos, he also was a great wrestler, but most of all I thought his entrance was the best part of the package. He would come out to “Copa Cabana” and he would dance around and the crowd (which was made up of men in their 20’s) would dance around and sing along with him. I remember after he got signed by WWE on of my friends who would go to ROH shows with me said, “That is awesome that Colt Cabana signed with WWE. Man I love his entrance! I can’t wait to see that in WWE, It’s gonna be crazy!” I agreed and it was obvious to me as a mark that Colt had whatever it was to pop a crowd. I mean his entrance got the crowd going and Colt had that charisma that is needed to take you to the next level. The only problem was that he did not fit the jacked up muscle men that Johnny Ace and Vince McMahon like to bring into the company. The thing is he didn’t have to look like that, because he could identify with the crowd and he has the charisma and psychology that makes a wrestler worth watching. There are too many guys out there that spend too much time worrying about the size of their arms and less time on the basics of working a crowd.
It seemed Colt’s WWE career was dead from the start, they gave him some entertaining promos but they gave him the very vanilla name “Scotty Goldman” and after few weeks of doing jobs he was off TV. I have a problem with the name change but I am not sure if it was a case that Colt wanted to keep the rights to his name or WWE just wanted a different one. They have a tendency to take guys who have really cool names on the indies and in FCW and give them very bland names. He was not used for a while and it seemed as though his release was imminent. About a month ago he was given a show on WWE.com entitled “What’s Crackin’ w/ Scotty Goldman.” He was also working in FCW as a color commentator. His show was a pretty entertaining weekly wrap up show going over the big events in WWE that week. The first episode even had WWE.com’s Joey Styles has a guest! It seemed that with the show and the commentary work there was going to be an opportunity for Scotty Goldman to show his talents to the WWE universe. Unfortunately for the 6th episode of his web show the name was changed from “What’s Crackin’ to “ Good As Goldman” and a few days later he was released after getting squashed by Umaga on Smackdown. I think WWE dropped the ball by releasing Colt Cab ana, but there are many doors open to him. With ROH going to television, Colt Cabana in would be a great fit. They would be bringing in a great worker fresh of WWE TV and he is a guy that the ROH audience loves and his return would play out great on television. I wish all the luck in the world to Colt Cabana and cannot wait to see him wrestles with out the shackles of World Wrestling Entertainment. I think Colt said it best in his latest blog, “Goodbye Scotty Goldman….Hello Colt Cabana!"
Until next time....J.J.
What’s crackin’ in WWE these days? In the past 6 months WWE has brought up many young performers from the FCW developmental territory to try to infuse the rosters with some young talent. Some of them have caught on like Jack Swagger, who quickly won the ECW title but most seem to do jobs and then are released with out much fanfare. This leads me to the news I read last night that Scotty Goldman was released by World Wrestling Entertainment. Just like everyone else on the chopping block they wish him the best in his future endeavors. This release puzzles me and unless it is strictly financial manner, this is one of the dumbest moves WWE has down in recent memory. Scotty Goldman, or Colt Cabana as he is more widely known is one of the most entertaining workers out there today. When he signed on with WWE about 2 years ago I was very excited because I knew the sky was the limit for this kid. It also helped that he is good friends with CM Punk who Vince took a liking to. As Punk’s stock was rising it seemed like it was inevitable that Colt would be brought up to the main roster.
In Ring of Honor Colt Cabana was one of the top guys. He cut great promos, he also was a great wrestler, but most of all I thought his entrance was the best part of the package. He would come out to “Copa Cabana” and he would dance around and the crowd (which was made up of men in their 20’s) would dance around and sing along with him. I remember after he got signed by WWE on of my friends who would go to ROH shows with me said, “That is awesome that Colt Cabana signed with WWE. Man I love his entrance! I can’t wait to see that in WWE, It’s gonna be crazy!” I agreed and it was obvious to me as a mark that Colt had whatever it was to pop a crowd. I mean his entrance got the crowd going and Colt had that charisma that is needed to take you to the next level. The only problem was that he did not fit the jacked up muscle men that Johnny Ace and Vince McMahon like to bring into the company. The thing is he didn’t have to look like that, because he could identify with the crowd and he has the charisma and psychology that makes a wrestler worth watching. There are too many guys out there that spend too much time worrying about the size of their arms and less time on the basics of working a crowd.
It seemed Colt’s WWE career was dead from the start, they gave him some entertaining promos but they gave him the very vanilla name “Scotty Goldman” and after few weeks of doing jobs he was off TV. I have a problem with the name change but I am not sure if it was a case that Colt wanted to keep the rights to his name or WWE just wanted a different one. They have a tendency to take guys who have really cool names on the indies and in FCW and give them very bland names. He was not used for a while and it seemed as though his release was imminent. About a month ago he was given a show on WWE.com entitled “What’s Crackin’ w/ Scotty Goldman.” He was also working in FCW as a color commentator. His show was a pretty entertaining weekly wrap up show going over the big events in WWE that week. The first episode even had WWE.com’s Joey Styles has a guest! It seemed that with the show and the commentary work there was going to be an opportunity for Scotty Goldman to show his talents to the WWE universe. Unfortunately for the 6th episode of his web show the name was changed from “What’s Crackin’ to “ Good As Goldman” and a few days later he was released after getting squashed by Umaga on Smackdown. I think WWE dropped the ball by releasing Colt Cab ana, but there are many doors open to him. With ROH going to television, Colt Cabana in would be a great fit. They would be bringing in a great worker fresh of WWE TV and he is a guy that the ROH audience loves and his return would play out great on television. I wish all the luck in the world to Colt Cabana and cannot wait to see him wrestles with out the shackles of World Wrestling Entertainment. I think Colt said it best in his latest blog, “Goodbye Scotty Goldman….Hello Colt Cabana!"
Until next time....J.J.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Inaugural Off The Mark Blog!!!
(This inaugural blog for the Off The Mark Show comes to you from The Billdozer and discusses our show, which can be found at: http://www.myspace.com/offthemarkshow)
In a week of firsts, I would like to thank you for checking out my blog under the Off The Mark umbrella!
After watching my first episode, I am quite pleased at how it turned out. Jimmy James made the experience great with his wholesome attitude and ginger snap treats (well I wish). I will do my absolute best to make sure I do not say “absolutely” 42 times again, but I ensure an awkward argument with J.J. in the not to distant future to make up for it. I also can’t wait to get the Hess Express involved because he IS the strange breed that makes me giggle.
Random thoughts:
I’m loving How I Met Your Mother…almost caught up. Between just finishing Arrested Development (how did this show get cancelled?) and falling head over heels (had to use that one) with this new program, my TV watching is finally filling up with pleasurable activities on this side of Skin-amax.
Fans, we need a poll….Jimmy James is going to get a haircut…or should he??? I have two words: platinum blonde.
And as a teaser, let me be the first to suggest Jimmy James and The Billdozer in a future episode with, drum roll not needed, sports coats with no shirts underneath!!! Let the homoeroticism sink in!!!
That’s all folks, I probably won’t see ya’ at the matches. But c’mon Hogan, I want to see ya’ at ‘Mania even if its against Cena!!!!
-Dozer
In a week of firsts, I would like to thank you for checking out my blog under the Off The Mark umbrella!
After watching my first episode, I am quite pleased at how it turned out. Jimmy James made the experience great with his wholesome attitude and ginger snap treats (well I wish). I will do my absolute best to make sure I do not say “absolutely” 42 times again, but I ensure an awkward argument with J.J. in the not to distant future to make up for it. I also can’t wait to get the Hess Express involved because he IS the strange breed that makes me giggle.
Random thoughts:
I’m loving How I Met Your Mother…almost caught up. Between just finishing Arrested Development (how did this show get cancelled?) and falling head over heels (had to use that one) with this new program, my TV watching is finally filling up with pleasurable activities on this side of Skin-amax.
Fans, we need a poll….Jimmy James is going to get a haircut…or should he??? I have two words: platinum blonde.
And as a teaser, let me be the first to suggest Jimmy James and The Billdozer in a future episode with, drum roll not needed, sports coats with no shirts underneath!!! Let the homoeroticism sink in!!!
That’s all folks, I probably won’t see ya’ at the matches. But c’mon Hogan, I want to see ya’ at ‘Mania even if its against Cena!!!!
-Dozer
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