What happened to Monday Night Raw?

(In Part 1 of 6 The Billdozah takes a stream of consciousness look at WWE’s flagship Monday Night Raw. The purpose of these blogs is to find out what, if anything, each television program is doing correctly and more importantly gives said Billdozah the opportunity to vent, because he has a lot of venting to do. Coming soon we will read his thoughts on ECW, Smackdown, TNA Impact, ROH TV, and a hope for more alternatives)

Where did you go Monday Night Raw? A Nation (or ugh, WWE Universe) turns its lonely eyes to you…

Instead, I believe the real wrestling fan is flipping his clicker off of your sorry sack of a 2-hour television block.

Trying to figure out where to start so we don’t get 17 Microsoft Word Pages of dribble that will be too long for anyone to read…let’s see let’s see…how about the top of the card?

Triple H. John Cena. Randy Orton. Night of Champions was a disgrace if you ask me. WWE doesn’t want to give away much of John Cena vs. Triple H, since we are dying, absolutely pleading for the rematch of their 293rd official rematch. Yawn. The main events are so played out and so boring that Batista leaving actually led to the chance that we get to see someone new get elevated.

Since Batista went down and The Donald made the big 3-brand trade that sent shockwaves up and down WWE Universe (and I hate how EVERYONE is calling it that, great branding, make a fan want to puke every time you hear something) WWE had the opportunity to give someone a huge push. MVP? Jack Swagger? Evan Bourne? Nope, nope, nope. Those would be terrible choices. But back to those three in mere moments.

Raise you hand in the air when he tells you. Somebody’s gonna get their ass kicked. That’s right wrestling nerds, your hero Mark Henry has in particular order A) Defeated champion Randy Orton on his first night on Raw B) Destroyed the most compelling character Chris Jericho C) Have the second best time in Beat the Clock, that Cena narrowly defeated and D) Got to be Hornswaggle’s cousin!

And you cheered! Why? Why? Why? He sucks, I hate him, and he sucks. But you know what WWE, you got people to get excited about Henry; it only took you 17 years. All’s well that ends well.

Speaking of ending, can we end this Guest Host fiasco? I enjoyed Ted DiBiase. Shaq delivered a big rating. But seriously, it’s ruining the programs. These comedy sketches are dragging the flow of the show and making it impossible for anyone to really shine.

Which brings me to what I find as good about Monday Night Raw. If you look at the card, they have a great flux of talent ready to make it to the next level. It could be anyone of Ted DiBiase, Cody Rhodes, MVP, Evan Bourne, Jack Swagger, Kofi Kingston, etc. But nope, we get to see two segments each week dedicated to the historic Chavo Guerrero vs. Hornswaggle Feud of the Century.

My suggestion is to clean things up at the top of the card. Mix Jack Swagger with Triple H. Have John Cena taken to his limit by MVP. When Batista comes back have Ted DiBiase bitch slap him in the face and ask him if he blew is quad. Let Randy Orton make you think Evan Bourne is gonna 123 Kid his Razor Ramon ass. I hope every week to be proven wrong, and this week I was to some extent. Trips lost a handicap match to Legacy. Stop the presses. We just need Shawn to come back so DX can rightfully put those jobbers back in their place. Once again, I hope I’m wrong. Why should I hold my breath? Oh yeah, The Miz actually got over and now he might as well wear a mask and call himself Gillberg 2. He’ll have a better chance of winning.

So Monday Night Raw, you are probably in trouble…at least according to me. The vast majority of the audience has spoken and 2010 appears to be shaping up for a Mark Henry/Hornswaggle ticket to the White House. Sadly, I’ll be watching and learning once again what I don’t want to see.

-The Billdozah
(The opinions expressed by The Billdozah ABSOLUTELY should reflect the opinion of anyone who wants to enjoy Monday Night Raw again. If you disagree, just find episodes of Raw from 2007 and 2008 because we’ve been there and done that. And you know what the worst part is? It sucked then!)

P.S. Remember when Randy Orton was getting over so huge they almost had to turn him babyface? He laid out every McMahon until Hunter came out and well, took the sails out of Orton, who hasn’t and may not recover. I liked Orton…he grew up with great facials, no longer was a terrible promo, and made you feel the emotions going on in his mind. But now, I could care less, even though I did enjoy the eyes popping out the head at Night of Champions. Also Randy, can you have good wrestling matches? Still waiting. At WrestleMania you should have kicked Triple H in the head and had sex with his wife.