After much deliberation it is time to close the door on the very first Ring Roast; The Iron Sheik had his day in the sun and great fun was had by all…well that is until an Owen Hart joke.JJ: I thought the Owen joke was kinda funny. It’s a roast people…the whole deal is to be offensive and funny. The Owen joke was not as offensive as Eric Simms’ act. That was offensive to the art of comedy
The evening was going well. I’m going to say that the focus of the roast needs to be more of comedy and appreciation as many of the comedians didn’t realize that the fans really wanted to be there to show their love to the one and only man who humbled B. Brian Blair!
Ok…let’s get to what was the most important part of the evening. Mr. Scott Hall. After the Owen Hart joke (the only thing that fell harder than the Iron Sheik’s career was Owen Hart, I believe is what he said) Scott went off. I don’t know what happened, but there was no turning back. Poor Jimmy Powers tried everything he could to get him to leave but he wouldn’t. A large bouncer really didn’t do his job since Hall kept getting kicked out and coming back in to ruin the festivities.
JJ: In my drunken stupor I thought that Jimmy Powers was Scott Putski. I was extremely embarrassed that I didn’t recognize the man who opened just about every Boston Garden card I went to.
At this point, I realized what was going on. Well I think I did. You see the countless beers, Jager Bombs, etc. etc. had caught up to me and I was feeling not like a million bucks, but $50 billion dollars cold hard cash. Nevertheless, I followed Scott Hall around behind him and got up close as the people running the show were frantically trying to get him to calm down and or leave. When I got back to the table, Jimmy James asked Sean Oliver if he wanted him to calm Hall down. Oliver declined the request and told us to sit down. I don’t think we did for long.
JJ: So for some reason Bill and I thought it would be a good idea to get up and flank Scott Hall as he got up and told the roasters to suck it. As we were posing and crotch chopping with the Bad Guy I thought I should try to get the situation in hand and I asked Mr. Oliver, of Kayfabe Commentaries, if he needed me and bill to calm him down. We were told to sit and we kept drinking.
The stories of Hall getting tazered were unfounded. We ran into him in the hallway after and struck up conversation. J.J. even snuck into the picture Hall and Sheik took after the Roast.
JJ: After sneaking a few pictures with those legends. Bill and I held court with Scott Hall. He is really such a nice guy. We had only met him earlier that night but he treated us like we were old friends. There was a crowd of like 50 people around us just listening to us the 3 of shoot the shit about wrestling. It seemed like all these people assumed we were the best of friends. Then Scott posed for pics with Bill and left for the night.
But back to the Roast; it was a hell of an event. The sails were taken out a bit due to Hall, but hey controversy sells DVD’s Sean-o!!!
The night was capped off by the Sheik refusing Blair’s plea to mend fences. He slapped the bastard in the face to close an intriguing event. At this point the waiter came over to me and told me I was right, he had never seen something like this before.
So, J.J. and I had a great time and had to get up early (around 6 a.m.) to head back home. It was time for bed. Not! We went back to the bar, realized we should go to our room to get some bar sodas (also known as Bud Light bottles) and return to said bar. When we returned several of the wait staff glanced at us since they only sold B-lites in aluminum bottles…ours were glass and a bit smaller in size. Whoopsi indeed!!!
JJ: Yeah we were getting weird looks in the bar when we brought in beers they didn’t sell in the bar. So we decided to drink in the lobby…. No one seemed to care. And we scored some pictures with Bill Apter, Don Muraco, Bob Backland, and that dude from A Christmas Story.
King Kahlua was a blast to talk to. The man spoke to us like we were old pals; that fuck Brandi didn’t like him talking to us “marks” until we bought him a few beers. Last time I make that mistake Salvatore…or should I say Patriot…the secret is out!
JJ: Kahlua was fucking wicked cool, Brandi was a douche, and Mean Gene was out of it. But Gene was a hell of a nice guy.
To cap a long story short, the time at the bar ended with me smashing a draft beer onto the bar, then standing on the glass like that would clean it up. At least I was apologetic. The guy who cleaned it up explained I wouldn’t be the first or last person to break something at a bar. I don’t think I comprehended. I was on Cloud 57 at this point (much drunker than being on Cloud 9).
JJ: I’m not sure how Bill ended up with the draft since we were rocking the bottles all night but it was funny as hell when the glass broke. I told him it was cool but he decided to stand in the broken glass…not sure why, but great nonetheless. Bill then said he may have jokingly tipped $1 million. I think Bill was making beef on cloud 9.
We went outside for a bit to, I believe sober up. We didn’t, and we didn’t get much sleep either. Maybe 3 hours max, and I’m probably being generous.
JJ: We got to the room and decided to fight over whether we should sleep or stay up all night. This some how ended up with me leaving the hotel room in my undies with my ass out and I got on the elevator. That’s when I realized didn’t have a key so I went back to the room and grabbed Bill’s pants, and I put them on, left the room again only to find out that my wallet was in Bill’s pants! Utterly perplexed and shitfaced I went back to the room yelled at Bill for stealing my wallet, then passed out.
But back to the Roast; it was a hell of an event. The sails were taken out a bit due to Hall, but hey controversy sells DVD’s Sean-o!!!
The night was capped off by the Sheik refusing Blair’s plea to mend fences. He slapped the bastard in the face to close an intriguing event. At this point the waiter came over to me and told me I was right, he had never seen something like this before.
So, J.J. and I had a great time and had to get up early (around 6 a.m.) to head back home. It was time for bed. Not! We went back to the bar, realized we should go to our room to get some bar sodas (also known as Bud Light bottles) and return to said bar. When we returned several of the wait staff glanced at us since they only sold B-lites in aluminum bottles…ours were glass and a bit smaller in size. Whoopsi indeed!!!
JJ: Yeah we were getting weird looks in the bar when we brought in beers they didn’t sell in the bar. So we decided to drink in the lobby…. No one seemed to care. And we scored some pictures with Bill Apter, Don Muraco, Bob Backland, and that dude from A Christmas Story.
King Kahlua was a blast to talk to. The man spoke to us like we were old pals; that fuck Brandi didn’t like him talking to us “marks” until we bought him a few beers. Last time I make that mistake Salvatore…or should I say Patriot…the secret is out!
JJ: Kahlua was fucking wicked cool, Brandi was a douche, and Mean Gene was out of it. But Gene was a hell of a nice guy.
To cap a long story short, the time at the bar ended with me smashing a draft beer onto the bar, then standing on the glass like that would clean it up. At least I was apologetic. The guy who cleaned it up explained I wouldn’t be the first or last person to break something at a bar. I don’t think I comprehended. I was on Cloud 57 at this point (much drunker than being on Cloud 9).
JJ: I’m not sure how Bill ended up with the draft since we were rocking the bottles all night but it was funny as hell when the glass broke. I told him it was cool but he decided to stand in the broken glass…not sure why, but great nonetheless. Bill then said he may have jokingly tipped $1 million. I think Bill was making beef on cloud 9.
We went outside for a bit to, I believe sober up. We didn’t, and we didn’t get much sleep either. Maybe 3 hours max, and I’m probably being generous.
JJ: We got to the room and decided to fight over whether we should sleep or stay up all night. This some how ended up with me leaving the hotel room in my undies with my ass out and I got on the elevator. That’s when I realized didn’t have a key so I went back to the room and grabbed Bill’s pants, and I put them on, left the room again only to find out that my wallet was in Bill’s pants! Utterly perplexed and shitfaced I went back to the room yelled at Bill for stealing my wallet, then passed out.
Would I attend another Ring Roast? You fucking bet! I already have tickets for the All Funked up Roast for the one and only Terry Funk. Can’t. Frigging. Wait.
-The Billdozah
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